Why You Only Get Sh*t Done When You're Panicking? (Motivation Strategy) [ep. #302]
"I just work really well under pressure." I hear this from my clients all the time, and yes, you probably do. You've built a business off the back of deadlines, panic and proving people wrong, and it's got you a long way. But there are other ways to motivate yourself, and running on pressure gets exhausting once you want to scale your business.
So today, I'm talking about motivation strategy from an NLP perspective, the subconscious patterns behind your business motivation, and how to motivate yourself when nothing is on fire and there's no deadline breathing down your neck.
Topics covered on Motivation Strategy:
What is a motivation strategy?
The motivation strategies I see most in entrepreneurs.
How to identify your motivation strategy in business?
My top motivation tips.
How to motivate yourself without the deadline pressure or panic?
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Motivation Strategy Mapper: DM "motivation" on Instagram @_rebeccahaydon_ to receive it
Quote:
"I want you to be able to move towards the things that you really, really want without having to make your reality so fucking painful enough to have to escape from it." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
"I Just Work Really Well Under Pressure"
[00:00:00] Probably one of the most repeated phrases, statements that get said to me as a subconscious mentor is, "Bec, I just work really well under pressure. I need the deadline, baby. Give me the deadline and I am your gal. I will always pull it out of the bag at the nth degree of the nth moment. I need to be really fucking fed up before I actually change something. I know exactly what I need to do, I just don't do it until I really fucking have to.
[00:00:34] Right? And that is said to me a lot. A lot, a lot. And then we've got the flip side of that, where I have clients who tell me that they want more consistency. So many of my clients tell me that they want things to feel calmer, and they wanna stop putting themselves under this intense pressure that they've been putting themselves under probably for the last 20 years. They want to step back from having these huge rollercoaster-y peaks and troughs, where they're doing absolutely everything, and then the troughs of them doing hardly anything.
I'm gonna have a look at this with you today, and we're gonna look at it through an NLP perspective: neuro-linguistic programming.
What NLP Teaches About How to Motivate Yourself
[00:01:28] I run a training school called The Subconscious Institute, where I teach NLP practitioners and they qualify with me. One of the things that we look at is how you are motivating yourself when you are moving in life, right? What motivates you? How do you move? And when we break it down, there is actually a sequence, which I'm gonna get into today and explain a little bit.
[00:01:59] There's a sequence you are running that gets you from sitting there scrolling the Tikky Tokky or Instagrammy, not doing the thing, to suddenly going, "Aha, right. Let's fucking go. I'm doing it." Okay? And sometimes that sequence is quite effective for you as a human. And like I said, you've probably been doing it for years.
[00:02:31] And I would hazard a guess, purely because mine did too, that it might have helped you build your business. And right now, listening to my voice, it might actually be one of the reasons you've achieved as much as you have. However, it might also require you to put yourself under enormous amounts of pressure first, enormous amounts of doubt, enormous amounts of debt maybe, enormous amounts of fear, right?
What Is Your Motivation Strategy?
[00:03:14] And today, I really want to get into your motivation strategy. I will teach you what I mean by strategy first, 'cause I know all of you are like, "Ooh, another business strategy. Here I go. This is the thing." No. We're talking about subconscious strategies. So I'm gonna teach you what I mean by a strategy, and how we can start recognising the way that you really create motivation, almost.
[00:03:43] I'm gonna let you in on some of the really common motivation strategies I see with a lot of high-achieving, passionate, very-wants-the-big-things entrepreneurs. And we're also gonna get into the difference between being motivated towards something and being motivated away from something.
[00:04:09] That moving away from peace is actually where I see so many entrepreneurs get themselves onto this massive rollercoaster that they can't get off, because things get uncomfortable, and you move, and they get better, and the discomfort disappears. And you're like, "Well, who the fuck am I without this discomfort?"
[00:04:30] And then you stop moving in the same way, and things get uncomfortable again, and off you go, back on the same loop, right? You might want your pen and paper ready for this episode. By the end of this episode, I actually want you to have a much better understanding of how to motivate yourself.
[00:04:52] How do you move? What does that look like? And I also want you to start to see whether you've accidentally taught yourself (and I know it will definitely be accidental, and it will be through conditioning and what you've watched your parents, friends or caregivers do along the way) that you need fear or pressure, or comparison even, doubt, this fucking sense of urgency that the world's gonna end, something going wrong, before you get access to the version of you who really fucking moves.
[00:05:32] Let's get into it.
What Is a Subconscious Strategy in NLP?
So let's start with what I mean by strategy, and what we actually teach when we're looking at strategy. In NLP, a strategy (and this is a word that I use a hell of a lot with my clients; I always say "the subconscious strategy") is the order and sequence, almost, of my client's internal and external representations that produce a specific result for that person. Internal meaning: the feelings, the thoughts, everything that's going on inside. And it can be quite visual when I'm breaking someone's strategy down.
[00:06:19] So when I look at how someone is doing something, I can literally break it down step by step, and I mean in the most specific, concise way. Not "I do this and then that gives me this", although we can look at the complex equivalence within that. I really am looking in the most specific way.
[00:06:45] You had a thought first, then you had a feeling. Or you had a feeling first, then you had a thought. After the thought, back came a feeling. Then you had a picture in your mind. We can really start to break it down. So I'm looking at the trigger first. I'm looking at what happens next.
[00:07:03] What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you saying to yourself? What are you feeling? And in what order are those happening to produce this behaviour or this result? I have spoken about strategies on the podcast before. I think it's been quite a while actually, but we have strategies for everything.
The Shower Strategy
[00:07:27] Everything you do runs a particular sequence in your subconscious. Literally everything you do. I'm talking about getting dressed, brushing your teeth, getting ready for the morning. The one that I've used on the podcast before as an example is the shower, where you will do exactly the same thing every single time you go into the shower.
[00:07:52] You have a shower strategy. You will have a trigger that leads you to having a shower, and then through that shower, you will have an exact strategy that you follow. If something in that strategy were to change, you wouldn't feel like you've had a proper shower. Which is so funny, because at the moment (and it's the cutest, most incredible experience ever), Ivy…
[00:08:21] Ivy's my daughter. She's two years old. Ivy's started every now and again to have a shower with me, which is so lovely. She's a proper water baby as well, so she loves the water. But by God, does it affect my shower strategy? I can't do the same things. One, because she is so small in the shower that if I'm using products in my hair, it goes into the water and I almost feel like it's falling on her, which I don't want for her little skin and her hair.
[00:08:58] And also, only one of you can be in the water at any given time, and I don't want her getting cold, right? So my shower strategy is completely null and void when she's in. I get out of the shower and, even though I've done all the steps I usually do, I don't feel like I've had a proper shower, right?
[00:09:18] That strategy of mine can't be completed because I've changed the circumstances within it, and this is what we're looking at when I'm looking at your strategies: how you do something. Like I always say with the shower example, I squirt my shampoo into my left hand. If I was to squirt my shampoo into my right hand, I would feel differently about that strategy.
[00:09:57] Or say I've had a bath the night before (and this happens every now and again), I have a shower in the morning, and I've left my face wash near the bath. I can't complete that bit of the strategy, so it doesn't quite feel complete for me, right?
[00:10:18] Again, if you normally put your right shoe on before your left shoe, you probably do that without ever consciously deciding that the right shoe goes first. Nobody told you that you have to put your right shoe on first, right? If I told you to do that whole thing in a completely different order, you would suddenly have to start thinking about something that is normally completely subconscious.
Why Your Subconscious Strategies Are So Hard to Spot
[00:10:47] I know I'm going a little bit deep on the shower strategy, but what I'm trying to show you is that we have strategies for doing things that are so subconscious that when I ask my clients how they are currently doubting themselves, or how they are currently in overwhelm, or how they know when they're anxious (which allows me to open up their strategy), they almost can't tell me unless I give them specific prompts to work through exactly what they do. They do it so subconsciously that I have to ask them, "If I were playing you in a movie, and you were the director and I was you as the actor, what would I do step by step?"
[00:11:39] Usually when I'm doing strategy work with a client, because of the sheer amount of time I've done this and the fact that I teach this so in depth, I will literally break down their strategy from a voice note that they've sent me. I'll send it back to them on WhatsApp, and they're like, "What the fuck?"
[00:11:59] Like, yes, that is exactly what I do. That is exactly what I feel. That is exactly what I think. And it is a learned sequence. When you've repeated a learnt sequence enough, it will run without you even thinking about it. So you've probably got a strategy for comparing yourself.
[00:12:23] You will have a strategy for whether or not you like selling. You will have a strategy for creating content, or maybe a strategy that never gets you to create content. There are so many strategies that we run. Okay? We have strategies for very complex behaviours. We have strategies for learning that you can shift and change so you can learn quicker and deeper, and I teach that in NLP.
[00:12:49] You have strategies for communicating, communicating with your team, and communicating with a loved one. You have strategies for making decisions. There are massive buying strategies. You will have a strategy for creativity. You will have a strategy that you're not very good at for relaxing, selling, remembering, and most importantly, what we're talking about today, for motivation.
How Do You Get Yourself to Do the Thing?
[00:13:13] Now, I know that I have said this, probably years ago, and I still believe it: we can't rely on motivation alone. But the kind of motivation we're talking about in this podcast episode is how you get yourself to do the thing, rather than focusing on the word motivation.
[00:13:37] If I have someone who says, "I'm really struggling to get myself motivated" (they will probably use that word, to be honest), or "I'm really struggling to start the thing," or "I'm really struggling to get myself into this launch," the first thing I really wanna look at is the plenty of times in their life where they have been motivated, right?
[00:14:05] I'm really intrigued in finding examples where they don't struggle with that motivation, because you do motivate yourself, right? You're all hearing me and listening to me because you've started a business. You've all taken action. You have definitely completed things when you've needed to.
[00:14:28] You have met deadlines. You've probably made sales. You've made very big decisions. You've even done things that you really could not be arsed to do, and somehow you got yourself there. I wanna know how you got yourself there. So that is what we're looking at when we're looking at motivation.
Common Motivation Strategies I See in Women Entrepreneurs
[00:14:52] Now, everyone can have a different motivation strategy, and I see so many different versions of this. Some people need pressure. Some people need a deadline and will do it the day before the deadline, or maybe they'll do it months out from the deadline. Some people need accountability. Some people just genuinely need that accountability.
[00:15:21] Some people need excitement. Some people need to see the end result. A big one that I see in entrepreneurship: some people need to prove something to themselves or prove something to other people. Some people, AKA me, are massively motivated when someone tells them they can't do it, and I'm like, "Fuck you, I'll go do it."
[00:15:47] That was a really big motivation strategy for me growing up. Really, really big. I'm not gonna go down this path in this podcast, but especially when people were talking about my weight in the performing arts industry. I had a teacher who I really looked up to at the time, and reflecting back, I really do understand why she did what she did.
[00:16:10] But she pulled me out of class. There would've been 26 people in that room. In front of everyone, she pulled me to the front of the class, wiggled her finger across my body and said, "Do you think we better lose a bit of this before you start auditioning?" AKA, go and lose weight.
[00:16:29] And I was like, "Hmm. Wow. Okay, you've just made my deepest fears come true, but yeah, fuck you, I'm gonna do it." And I did it, right? So sometimes we're massively motivated when someone tells us we can't do it or calls us out on it. Some people compare themselves with someone, feel behind, and boom, suddenly they're off.
[00:16:55] Some people need to doubt themselves. Some people need to get so annoyed with their current circumstances that they eventually go, "Ugh, right. Enough," and then they suddenly change everything. How many times do you hear that in a story, in a hero piece, right? They get so annoyed with their current circumstances: "Enough's enough, I'm gonna change everything." And so they do, right?
How to Motivate Yourself: Find What Gets You Moving
[00:17:19] What I would love for you to do as you're listening right now (if you haven't already, or if you've been laughing at a couple of these examples going, "Fuck, that is me") is start to think: how do you know it's time to move? How do you know? I want you to think about something that you have been putting off recently, or over the last year or so, and then think about another time where you did eventually do something, right?
[00:17:54] What changed? What changed for you to do it? What happened immediately before? If I was to literally get my remote and pause the seconds before you eventually went and did it, what was happening? Somewhere in that paused sequence, we are going to start finding your strategy. Now, what I will say is that a lot of these are not very useful, right?
[00:18:25] Like I said, they've probably been useful in the past, but what I want is for you to, one, understand what gets you moving, and I want it to fucking serve you. I want it to serve you. We're gonna get into that as well, but I'm just prefacing (as you know, I love the word preface) that all of these things have helped you.
[00:18:46] Maybe the doubt and being in the pits and the pressure and proving something to someone has helped you in the past, but it is not a sustainable strategy. It's not. And I would hazard a guess that most of you are now burnt out by it. So how do we know what your strategy is? How do we know whether it's helping us or not?
Business Motivation: Towards vs Away From
[00:19:08] In NLP, we look at two motivations: a motivation that is towards, and a motivation that is away from. So in business a lot, I can literally look at whether someone is predominantly motivated towards something they want or away from something that they don't want.
[00:19:45] They are two very different energies, and they are two very different ways of being. I'll explain as we get into it, but within NLP, we can look at whether someone is predominantly towards or predominantly away from within a particular context, okay? And I do want to emphasise "within a particular context", because…
[00:20:24] I almost don't want you leaving this episode going, "I'm an away person. I only move when I have things to move away from." That could be true, but you can have different patterns in different areas. You might be incredibly motivated with your business and much more away from motivated with your health, or the other way around, or money, et cetera.
The Power of Moving Away From
[00:20:49] And both directions, moving towards and moving away from, can create action. Hell yes, they can. Moving away from something that you don't want can create a fucking huge amount of motivation. Think about the times when it's been, "I never want to feel like that again."
[00:21:14] That can sometimes be so, so powerful. "I'm never gonna have another month like that." "I am done feeling like this." "I don't want to be in this financial position anymore." "I am fucking sick of being in this loop." You've probably said something like that, right? "I don't want another launch to go like this."
[00:21:41] "I refuse to be in this same position next year." "I'm sick of putting this off." Right? When you hear that, and when you think about the times that you've been moving away from, there can be so much energy behind it. It's fiery energy. It's good energy, right? And sometimes you need it, right?
[00:22:02] Sometimes (and I do think this is where people come to do subconscious work, but we need to be doing it before this), being completely fed up with something is the thing that gets you to finally change it. It is, right? Now, I don't want to make you feel that moving away is wrong. I just want you to understand what happens after it works.
The Business Motivation Rollercoaster: Fear, Action, Relief, Repeat
[00:22:33] Because when you run your business from a moving away from strategy, this is where the rollercoaster will start to make sense to you. Let's take money as an example, okay? Imagine that you are someone who is very motivated away from being in discomfort with money, like financial discomfort.
[00:23:02] You look at your bank account and there's not enough money in there for you to feel comfortable, right? And immediately, you're activated into, "Okay. Right now, I'm selling. Now I'm following up. Now I'm looking for all the opportunities. I'm creating content. I'm fucking emailing. I'm doing all the things." And it works, right?
[00:23:27] Money comes in. You get further and further away from the financial position that felt very scary, and then you might reach a point where you feel okay again, right? Great. Okay. You look at the bank account and you go, "Ah, great. Okay. Perfect." However, the thing that was creating all the movement (AKA selling, opportunities, content, email, doing all the things) has now gone.
[00:23:59] You don't have the same fear. You don't have the same urgency. You're not having the same internal chatter of, "I'm fucking sorting this." And slowly but surely, some of the action starts to drop off the bandwagon. You're not talking about your offer as much because, well, there's enough money in the bank.
[00:24:20] You're not following up because, well, there's enough money in the bank. You're not looking at your numbers because there was enough money in the bank a month ago, and you're not being as intentional. And eventually, the numbers start moving in the other direction, you notice that, and fear comes back in.
[00:24:40] And suddenly you're like, "Ah, we're moving again. We're back down to where we were," and off you go. Welcome to the rollercoaster that I see most business owners on, right? Fear, massive action, result, relief, less action, fear builds, massive action, result, relief. And you can do that for fucking years. You can do that for years.
"I Always Make It Work"
[00:25:09] And the sneaky, sneaky, sneaky sneakers on part of this is that you can become so confident in your ability to do it, because you've played it out so many times: "I always make it work. I'll always find the money. I work so much better when I'm under that pressure." And yes, you do.
[00:25:34] Yes, you do. You do. I want to celebrate with you. You've become very good at operating in your business once you've created the conditions that your motivation strategy needs. So no wonder, no wonder you're fearing the next level, because you're like, "Okay, if this is what I've got to keep repeating... oh, fuck."
[00:26:04] Right. So then I question: do you want to keep needing these conditions? Is it sustainable for you? Is it enjoyable for you? Because if fear is what pushes you forwards, once you've successfully moved away from the fear, you need another fucking dose of fear to create that same push again.
[00:26:34] That's where those huge peaks and troughs come in. If clients come to me and they have big, big months followed by low months followed by big months, I know what strategy they're playing. I know. And yes, money is a really big telltale sign for me, but it's across the board. Across the board.
The Same Loop in Content and Health
[00:26:55] Think about content, right? You haven't posted for a while, and at first you're not that bothered by it, but then you notice all of these things, and then you start worrying, and now you're posting every day, doing stories and sending emails, and things pick up and feel better. And then you slowly stop doing as much until the fear comes back in, right?
[00:27:18] Or your health. You feel really uncomfortable, you don't like how you're feeling, you don't like how you look in the mirror, you don't like what you see on the scales, and right, boom, you're off. Gym four fucking times a week, calorie counting, glugging water till you're drowning, sleeping. You start to feel great, you're happy, you've moved away from the thing that was creating the motivation, and then maybe the behaviours start falling off again until the discomfort comes back and gets big enough again.
[00:27:51] It's really funny, because I remember learning this and being in this world (I've been in the NLP world since 2019, so this was even pre my business), I used to call my strategy the circle of life. With my health, I used to be like, "Well, I'm just in the circle of life again."
[00:28:15] "This usually happens." I would literally bring my finger around in a circle out in front of me (I'm doing it right now) and be like, "I feel really good. I know I feel really shit. I will do something about it. I feel really good. I feel really good." And then I'm like, "Oh, okay, now I can take my foot off the gas a little bit," and then, poof, I feel really bad.
[00:28:35] And then I literally just circle that. It is a loop. It is a loopy, loopy, loop-de-doo of moving away from strategy. And this discomfort, bringing yourself back into these away forms, is really where I want this episode to take you. I really want this episode to start allowing you to ponder whether you want to keep this, because, I mean, just look at your business.
[00:29:07] You've probably even started to feel extremely sweaty and uncomfortable just listening to me right now. But look at your business. Where am I brilliant at fixing something once it's become uncomfortable, but not necessarily brilliant at continuing the behaviour once the discomfort's gone? Right? The next level of this is learning how to create movement when things are already okay. So many of my clients come to me at that point: the maintenance, maintaining the fucking brilliant business that they have built, the continual growth, rather than going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth till the day you stop the business, right?
Can You Keep Selling When You Don't Need the Money?
[00:30:01] Can you sell, and can you keep selling, when you don't need the money? Can you create when you're not worried about disappearing?
[00:30:18] Big one. Can you work towards a launch way before the deadline of the day before it launches? Imagine doing work on your launch four weeks out. Can you look after your business and keep selling without creating a problem to make you feel happy within your business? Can you make the next move because you are genuinely excited about where you're going, what you're doing, who you're becoming?
[00:30:56] Can we keep doing the behaviour because of what the behaviour is building?
The Carrot or the Stick: Business Motivation as You Scale
[00:31:04] It's really fascinating once you start looking. And this to me is so fucking important when your business grows. Quite frankly, I really learnt this once I'd had Ivy, because I didn't have time to put myself in this. It was a pattern that I worked on way before Ivy. Like I said, it's been…
[00:31:30] Moving away from me... Have you heard people say you either work best with the stick or the carrot? You can dangle the carrot in front of you and you move, or it's the stick up your bum and you move. I'm a stick up the bum kinda gal. Tell me, call me out, tell me I'm fat, and I will move.
[00:31:47] But that's not very nice. That's not a very nice strategy to be in. The PT shouting down my ear, that really helps me. And I can still use those things, 100%. I don't think we need to be in this fucking dream world where we're all unicorns and fairies. But…
[00:32:05] It is helpful, but I don't want your success to become reliant on it, basically. When you are scaling your business, you cannot constantly need things to be on fire before you become the version of you who knows how to put the fire out, right? At some point in your business, I want you to be able to access the woman that you're becoming when nothing is burning down, right?
What Towards Motivation Looks Like
[00:32:37] And this is where motivation becomes really useful. Towards motivation (which you've probably got as well; you definitely will have, as an entrepreneur) is like, "Oh, I wanna see how big I can make this. I wanna see how big I can take this. I really want that opportunity.
[00:33:01] I can really see where I'm going. I wanna create that. I want to experience that. I want that level of impact. I wanna become really good at this." And then you start moving because you're pulled by something you want. Like I said, that can exist alongside away from motivation. It's not one or t'other.
[00:33:26] I want you to have a range, and right now I would hazard a guess that most of your range is moving away from. Am I right? Please tell me in my DMs, am I right? Right? There are going to be moments in your life where you say, "I never fucking wanna experience that again," and that creates the exact movement that you need.
When Everything's Good and It Feels Weird
[00:33:49] Yes, I still want those to remain. Use it, right? I just don't want it to be the only way you know how to access yourself, your power, your leadership, the way you do things, right? Because otherwise, when everything is good (which gets said to me so often), it feels fucking weird. Who's had that? Where you've got to a point in your business and you're like, "This is quite good, but fuck me, I'm bored.
[00:34:19] What the hell? This is weird." It feels strangely flat because there's nothing to fix, there's nobody to prove, and there's no emergency. And suddenly you're like, "I can't do this." You don't know where your drive went, right? Now, the drive is still there, let me tell you. Let me tell you. But the trigger that you normally use to access that drive…
[00:34:49] It has disappeared. Has disappeared.
How to Elicit Your Motivation Strategy
So where do we go from here, I hear you ask, begging on your knees. No. No. The first thing that I would do, more than anything, if I'm honest, is understand this current strategy. In business terms, when you jump to, "I just need a better strategy," fine, we can look at that from a subconscious perspective.
[00:35:16] But first I just want you to work out what you're actually doing. So choose a specific area: selling, content, launching, going to the gym, saving money, starting work, finishing things that you keep not finishing. Choose a specific example from the past where you did eventually motivate yourself, and I just want you to go back to that time.
[00:35:48] I want you to see what you saw, hear what you heard, really feel the feelings of being in that time, and I just want you to notice what happened first. Again, if I got that pause button and paused the moment before you did it, what told you it was time? Was there something you saw externally?
[00:36:11] Was it a number in your bank account? Was it a deadline, a date on the calendar? Was it someone else's post on Instagram? Was it someone else doing something? Was it an email? What did you see? What was the initial trigger? And then what happened internally? Did you make a picture internally?
[00:36:38] Did you imagine something happening, or did you hear a voice: someone's voice, your voice? Did you start talking to yourself? What did you say? Was it a feeling? What did that feeling make you do? I just want you to slow it right down. Slow it right down. Like I said, when I elicit strategies for my clients (eliciting is what we call this section), I always say, "If I had to play you in a movie, and I had to motivate myself exactly the way that you do in this movie, tell me what I would need to do first, and then what, and then what, and then what, and then what, and then what, and then what?"
[00:37:15] I know you don't have all the skills that we have within NLP for eliciting strategies if you haven't done NLP yet. For those who have, go back to your manuals, please. But you should be able to run your strategy. If I had your exact instructions, I would know how to create the behaviour that you've created.
Motivation Tips: Keep the Parts That Serve You
[00:37:40] Now, once you've got that (and again, write it down in whichever way suits you), I want you to look at which parts of it we might like, right? We might not wanna bin the whole thing. You might be sitting here going, "I do need to bin the whole thing." But we look at your strategy on the piece of paper.
[00:38:04] Maybe the pressure gives you focus. Okay? So I go, great. I want the focus, so we'll keep the focus. Or maybe one of yours is comparison, and comparison shows you what's possible. Great. We want the possibility. Maybe the deadline makes you really decisive. Great, brilliant, fantastic. I want decisiveness.
[00:38:30] So we can look at how you can access the useful parts of that strategy without always needing to create uncomfortableness first.
Designing a New Motivation Strategy
[00:38:47] Yeah. So this is when we actually work with the strategy. We elicit the strategy that someone currently runs. We look at where it would be useful to either interrupt or change that sequence, and then we can design a different strategy with it. Then you rehearse and install that new sequence, so it becomes easier for the subconscious to run.
[00:39:13] Now, when I'm doing this work with a client, it's what the client comes to. I never tell them what their new strategy should be or how it could be, et cetera, et cetera. I want it from their map. I want it from their language. I'm interested in what works for them.
[00:39:36] So someone's current strategy might be that they see the deadline, they imagine everything going wrong, they tell themselves they've left it too late, they feel panicked, and then they work. And then I would explore what they actually need. So their new strategy still starts with seeing the deadline.
[00:40:02] I'm still gonna have the trigger. That's fine. We don't have to remove the deadline. But maybe the moment that they see the deadline, they say something to themselves that immediately creates the decisiveness that they normally only access through panic, right? And then they act on it. Usually when I'm doing strategy change in session with you, it will be something that you say to yourself, or a question that you could ask, or maybe even a different feeling.
[00:40:39] But to change it on your own, even just saying something different after the first step will start to change how you think about things, right? So I want you to look at your strategy in front of you and say, "Okay, after the first trigger" (the trigger still has to be there, in the way of the deadline) "what do I then want to do instead?"
[00:41:08] What do I want to say to myself? What do I then want to feel? What do I then want to see? And you start to create a new way of doing it. You start to create a new way of doing it. Okay? So go back to the last time that you were in that moving away from strategy, write it down, and then ask yourself: what do I want that strategy to look like instead?
[00:41:36] What feelings do I want there? What thoughts do I want there? What pictures do I want to associate in my head? What do I want to see? That is where we can start to change the response, so it gives you access to the same focus and the same action. Okay?
The Goal Is Flexibility
The goal for me is more flexibility. I want you to be able to use pressure when pressure exists. I want you to be able to use a deadline when there's a deadline, and I want you to be able to use the frustration when you're genuinely fed up with something. And I want you to know how to move when none of those things are there.
[00:42:17] I want you to be able to sell when the bank account looks amazing, and continue selling. I want you to take action before it becomes so fucking uncomfortable. I want you to be able to literally just take action. I want you to be able to move towards the things that you really, really want without having to make your reality so fucking painful that you have to escape from it.
[00:42:42] And that's where understanding this motivation strategy becomes so useful. Maybe I'll do another episode on moving towards and how we can really tap into that. But today, I just wanted to give you the awareness around your moving away from. I really want you to start looking at how you don't need the constant tiger chasing you in order to be successful.
Motivation Tips for This Week
[00:43:08] Okay? So this week, I want you to notice yourself doing the thing, or being in motivation, and pause for a second and look back: "Right, what just happened? What did I see? What did I hear? What did I say to myself? What did I imagine? What did I feel?" All of those things. Then you can start to understand where you're playing from.
[00:43:36] And again, moving away from strategy will have got you a long way. It's probably part of how you've built what you've built, and I can definitely respect that. We can love that. We can send so much love. But now we can get curious about how else you want to be able to access that drive, that decisiveness, that commitment, that focus, whatever it is, and how to stop losing your drive when you stop scaring yourself.
[00:44:06] We can learn another way in.
Get the Free Motivation Strategy Mapper
Now, eliciting your own strategy can be quite difficult when you've never been taught how to do it. So I have put something together for you: a little motivation strategy mapper. It takes you through the questions that I would take clients through when I start pulling apart their motivation strategy.
[00:44:30] So looking at what triggers it, what you see, what you hear, what you feel, what you say to yourself, what's actually getting you to move, et cetera. If you want that, come over to Instagram and DM me the word "motivation", and I'll send that document over to you. You can start working it through for yourself.
[00:44:51] When you've got it and you've done it, I would genuinely love, love, love, love to hear what you found. And again, sometimes just bringing awareness to the sequence will change your behaviour so much anyway. So if you do want the motivation strategy mapper, just DM me the word "motivation".
[00:45:11] It's a document that you can fill out to start seeing what this is and how you want to change it. So that's there for you too. All righty. I love you lots. I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode, and I'll see you on the next one.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!