Self-Consistency: Why Your Results Reflect Who You Are, Not What You Do [ep. #231]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Did you know that self-consistency is the hidden reason why you're working your arse off without seeing the results you want? I'm going deep today, honey pie – way deeper than just talking about being consistent with your content or your to-do list.
We're diving into why your subconscious fights to keep you exactly where you are, even when you desperately want more. Your brain would literally rather be RIGHT about who it thinks you are than SUCCESSFUL! That's why you can have the perfect strategy, show up consistently, create killer offers – and still not get the results that match your effort. It's not because you're doing anything wrong. It's because your subconscious identity doesn't match your goals.
Join me as I show you how to spot where your self-concept is holding you back and give you the exact steps to rewire your identity from the inside bloody out. You'll learn to make your next-level self feel SAFE to your nervous system, so your subconscious stops sabotaging your success. This is the missing piece to becoming the CEO who leads powerfully, scales with certainty, and sells effortlessly.
Topics covered on Self-Consistency:
What is self-consistency, and why is it blocking your business success?
How might you be unconsciously sabotaging opportunities that do not fit your current identity?
Why do you struggle to scale even when you are doing all the "right" actions?
Why is making your new identity feel "safe" crucial for your subconscious acceptance?
What steps can you take to rewire your identity and create self-consistency with success?
How can you recognise when your self-consistency is pulling you back to old patterns?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"Your subconscious would rather be right about who it thinks you are than successful. It would rather be right about who you think you are than hit the monetary goal that you want." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello my gorgeous lady, and welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. I hope you're ready for today because we are going deep, deep, deep, deep, way down, deep into your subconscious, and we're talking about self. Consistency. Now, I don't just mean being consistent with your content or your to-do list or your launch plan or going to the gym.
What I actually mean by [00:01:00] self consistency is. Internal self consistency. And what I mean by that is your subconscious need to stay really congruent with who you believe you are. And it's very good and it's very consistent at that. And let's come back to the most important bit around this, who you believe you are.
So if there's any sneaky little bies of subconscious programming that is telling you that you believe your one way that's not serving you, your subconscious is going to stay self-consistent to that when you understand this. This episode is probably gonna blow your mind, as they always do, as the messages that I get on social media, which I love, keep them coming, you'll probably start to unlock while you, why you're stuck, why you're playing small.
Why your [00:02:00] habits currently, you know, are going the way that they're going, and we are going through today exactly how to rewire your identity. I said, we're going deep today. We're going to the very, very core of the six logical levels, which I teach. Um, in my one-to-one, well, I don't necessarily teach it.
It's an NLP technique that I do with my clients, and it is going to the identity because who we are as an identity, who we believe we are, becomes this self consistency of what the subconscious finds of what the reticular activated system seeks, et cetera. So. We want to rewire that self-concept, which I have done a podcast episode on.
I'll link it in the show notes if you're kind of new to this identity work. But we want to rewire that identity and you know, become the woman who leads powerfully scales with certainty, believes in her god damn self, for Christ's sake, sells effortlessly. You, you get the picture. So if you are. [00:03:00] In motion if you are powerful, if you're already showing up, if you're already taking action.
But that. Result that you're putting in. Maybe the hard work that you're currently hustling around isn't matching. This one is for you. So what is self consistency and why does it matter? I kind of wanted to start with the concept first of all. 'cause it might be a concept that you are completely brand new to now.
Self consistency is a principle that really refers to your. Brains. Very, very deep subconscious drive to stay in alignment with how you currently see yourself. And this is where it gets a little bit uncomfortable, but that's okay. 'cause that's what we're here for. You know, you wouldn't listen to my podcast if you weren't ready to get uncomfortable because we have to look at some truths sometimes.
So for example. If you see yourself as, [00:04:00] oh, well, you know, I've always been the hard worker who like literally just gets by you will subconsciously sabotage ease because your subconscious is being in alignment, is being consistent with how you are currently seeing yourself. If you see yourself as someone who, oh, well, I'm just not great at selling, really, you will literally reject evidence that proves anything other, and there is so many times in my one-to-one container where I will mirror back something that a client is or does or says in such a powerful, beautiful way the way that I see them.
And fricking hell, I love my clients to death and I will mirror that back to them and they're like, I don't believe you back. And I'm like, we got work to do here, girl. We got work to do. Because I can obviously see that. But their self-concept, their identity, their self consistency isn't [00:05:00] allowing them to see it because we need to have a look at the root of the belief that's not allowing them to see it.
Have you have ever had that moment where someone kind of says something to you and you're like. Christ, I wish I believed them. You know, I used to have this myself. Like so many people used to say, I wish you could see yourself the way that we see you, and this is what it is. Oh, I've got goosebumps everywhere.
This is it. This is your self concept, your identity, the way that you see yourself. I could cry right now. And the way that you consistently then show up with this self consistency that drives it. So it's not about what you want. It's not about the goals on your fricking vision board, your Pinterest board, whatever bloody board you've got them on, it's what you believe to be true about you.
Your subconscious is never, I wish it was never driven by desire. It is driven by identity, and it is driven by safety, and that is what we're [00:06:00] goddamn playing with here. Like your subconscious will always, always, always work to maintain that self consistency, even if your goals are saying one thing. If your identity says the other, guess which one will win.
Hands down every mother fricking time. And that is why you can invest in the strategy. You can post every day. You can write a killer offer in your Google documents and still not convert the way you should because your, your literal internal thermostat, your identity, the way that you see yourself and your self concept is set to a different version than the version of you who gets those goals.
Powerful stuff. Right? And you're like, Beck. Yes, absolutely. Now tell me fricking how to change it. Which I am, bear with, bear with. So I wanted to have a look how this could be showing up in your business right now. 'cause I think sometimes just kind of [00:07:00] understanding it yes is one thing, but like seeing it with what's currently going on for you is another.
And your subconscious would rather be right about who it thinks you are than successful. It would rather be right about who you think you are than hit the monetary goal that you want, and that is how literally powerful your self identity is. So practically, you have probably been taught to focus on business actions, which of course are very important posts on socials.
Show up on stories, sell your offer, build the funnel. Yada, yada, yada. You know, we know it. All right? But what happens when your actions are aligned? Still, your actions are there. You are showing up. You're doing the do, but still you avoid following up with leads that are in your dms. You get to the middle of your launch and your energy [00:08:00] crashes and you go to Bermuda and and sit on a beach and cancel everything you resist.
Raising your prices, even though you know that your offer is worth it. With all of those, and you can probably have a look at some of the actions that are currently happening for you, that is literal self consistency at work because if you are subconscious self-concept says, well, I'm the one who almost gets there.
And then it fades, or it doesn't just quite happen for me, or I'm the one who works really, really hard for X, Y, Z, or I'm not. I'm not someone that people just line up and buy from, or I drop an offer and everyone jumps in. That's the moment your actions start to threaten that identity. And your subconscious ding, ding, ding, triggers [00:09:00] resistance.
You'll get sick, you'll overthink your content, you'll change the strategy. You'll stop showing up. You'll delay the launch. Why? Because the new level is inconsistent with the old identity. And guess one thing, the subconscious hates inconsistency. Really, really big stuff, really profound stuff that might feel a little bit hard to get a grasp on for the moment, but you can start to see, and I've got a couple of questions in the kind of latter part of this podcast episode that will allow you to see where some of this mis mish rash mismatch is happening.
So from a neuroscience perspective. You know how I like to anchor in the science. There are two massive, massive, massive, big forces at play in your brain as we are doing this. So it's nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with how you've been wired. There is, you know, we can't. We are not here to blame, like these self-concepts have been [00:10:00] taken on and maybe you've taken a belief on from something that someone said to you, et cetera, and we know that we can do work around that.
But from a science, from a neuroscience perspective, there are two big things, two big forces that are currently kind of in play when we are in this self consistency, the self-concept. First one is confirmation bias, which I'm gonna go into in a minute. And the second is cognitive dissonance. Uh, well, I'm gonna dive in.
I'm gonna dive in. Don't you worry. So first of all, confirmation bias now. Like the RA reticular activated system, your brain is literally wired to seek out the evidence that supports what you already believe. I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. I have a couple of reticular activated systems.
Okay, that was such a mouthful. Reticular Activating Systems podcast episodes. Say that when you've had a shot. Um, and I'll, I'll tag those in the show [00:11:00] notes. I would go and listen to that. If you haven't heard of the Raz, which I call the Raz, which everyone calls the Raz, um, I would jump in and listen to those as well to kind of back this up.
But your brain, like I said, is wired to literally go and seek and find evidence that supports what you already believe. So if your internal identity right now is, um, for example, well, I'm just someone who has to work really, really hard to earn money, then even when EASE is available to you, even when ease is a fricking banging down your door.
You will ignore it, you will dismiss it, you will sabotage it. Or to be honest, you will just not even see it at all. Sometimes this happens so much that something, an opportunity or a way of doing something or a way of thinking can literally be staring you in the face. And if you could see me right now, like my hand is right against my nose, sometimes [00:12:00] opportunities can be that close, but because your subconscious is supporting different evidence.
To what that is. It you will not see it. You will not see it. And I actually, you know, I see this happen in real time with my clients, but I also see this in other things. You know, when you've gone to look for something and you are like, oh, I'm sure it, it's gotta be here somewhere. You open the drawer, you have a little look, you close the drawer, it wasn't in there.
And then you go back in the room and, and your partner says, oh, Beckett's in that drawer. You go back to the same drawer. And lo and behold, it is literally staring you in the face. Guess what? That is it in play? Like if we look at it tangibly like that, is it in play and it's, I do that so many times. I mean, Jack does that so many times.
I'm like, it is in there. Like you are just not actively bringing your reticular activated system to actually look for it in that place. So that's probably happened to you I'm sure [00:13:00] now. You will not. You will literally just not see it. It can be staring you in the face. You'll probably then attract the hard clients, or you'll ignore all of the simple wins that you've had, or you'll miss the DM from the dream client, or you'll just forget to respond to them because your brain is literally filtering for the familiar.
Which is the confirmation bias. It has to look for the bias of your brain, like what is it that she's thinking about? Okay. We need to make sure that we bring in evidence for that and we prove that to be true. Secondly is the cognitive dis dissonance. So when you take an action that doesn't match your internal identity.
So we know now like we, we might have a mismatch here. Your subconscious creates discomfort and this is why I do and attract a lot of people who are trying to get that to the next level of their business. Whether it's monetary clients way they're showing up. [00:14:00] I attract many, many, many incredible women who are.
At this stage, because of this, their internal identity is still matching the way the business was or run before, and it doesn't match where they're going. The moment that we start to match that with their belief system, with their nervous system, and we create the safety around that, things start to change.
And this is why a lot of the time when we have this mismatch, that's why it feels so hard. To maintain momentum when you're trying to scale. You know, everyone talks about the lottery winners. You know, there's so many, there's so many studies that have been done on lottery winners who end up being broke bankrupt with no money at all, because they've gone from one identity to another very quickly.
They haven't created the subconscious safety around it, so they throw the money at. The wall because they haven't been taught how to look after it, how to use it, how to hold it. I literally see that with entrepreneurs who like scale very quickly [00:15:00] and then can never hit that month again. It is because of that, like their identity, their internal identity isn't matched and the discomfort isn't because.
You don't have enough knowledge or you are unqualified or you're fricking incapable. It is literally because your subconscious is trying to hold two very conflicting identities at once. The woman you are and the woman you want to be. That was what I spoke about in last week's podcast episode with the Void and kind of being in that like, oh my God, I've.
Let go of this identity, but I'm moving into that one that feels scary. I'll pop that one in the show notes. It was a very good episode. Now, without rewiring your identity, your subconscious will always, always win. It will always pull you back into the safety of the known. Always, always, always, always. So you start to get the picture here.
Now, now we understand this, how can we start to rewire it? [00:16:00] So we want to start by rewiring your self-concept, which then has an impact on your self consistency. Okay? So. We don't wanna just push harder here, we don't wanna just do more work. We know that that creates resistance and gets you nowhere. We wanna work from the inside bloody out, and that is what I do in my world.
That is what I do in my world. So first of all, let's have a look at identifying that current self concept. Who am I being in my business right now? What identity am I operating from every single day? What do I believe is normal, realistic to me? And your subconscious doesn't lie. And even without a pen and paper, I just want you to have listened to what your subconscious has just said from me, even asking you, you these questions straight off the bat because your results [00:17:00] will reflect the story of what your subconscious is holding onto.
And like I said, at the very start of this podcast episode, that could be uncomfortable. So if your bank account currently isn't reflecting what you want it to be. We need to have a look at that, that that's where your res, you know, your results are, reflect a, reflect direction, a direct reflection.
Seriously, need to put my teeth back in today. A direct reflection of what your current self-concept is. And we can rewire that. That's what's so powerful about this work. You can change that. So let's really identify what that looks like. Who am I being in business right now? What identity am I operating from every single day?
What do I believe is my normal, is my baseline, is my realistic. Now we then want to make your desired identity familiar. So this is what [00:18:00] most people miss. I. We are not just visualizing her, we are not just kind of journaling about her. We're not like seeing the pictures of her. We are not just like affirming this new identity.
You must make her safe. And whether that's, you know, subconscious tools that I have in the subconscious membership, visualization, you know, embodying her in your mind before she exists in, in your world. But in that safety hypnosis. NLP techniques, nervous system regulations stay grounded. You know, as you're shifting into this reality, you want to make that feel familiar.
It's really, really important that we make her feel familiar. And I think once you've done this, you'll really start to see where those mismatches are. So we want to first of all, audit your current identity. So who do I subconsciously believe I am in business? Not who you say you are, not how you show up [00:19:00] online, but you know behind the scenes.
What's your default, what's your default? And then we wanna have a look at what that desired. Identity is and start to have a look how we make that safe. What I would then do, and what I then want you to work on, is really uncovering this like self consistency, conflict. So where are you trying to expand?
Now we've got kind of the two identities in front of us. If you want, you know, put one on one piece of paper and one on the other, like behaviors, actions, beliefs, behaviors, actions, beliefs. Old identity, new identity, both sides. Like old self-concept, new self-concept on two pieces of paper, put them down in front of you and then go, okay, where is the self consistency conflict?
So where am I trying to expand right now? But my subconscious is pulling me back to familiar. I. Where am I in, like the push pull energy. I want more, but it's not safe. [00:20:00] Where's that cycle going where I kind of jump and leap into my next level, but I get springboarded back to my old, where is that self consistency conflict and really have a look across that.
That might be looking at your behaviors currently. Um, you know, like I said, those two pieces of paper, what you're doing now versus who you want to be. Or you might just wanna keep it in your, in your notes app on your phone. Um, where you just like notice yourself like, Ooh, I'm being pulled back into something.
Or I've just done a habit that doesn't speak to my new self-concept. Why is that? And you can start to question that. And then you want to rewire, you know. You have to make the next level identity feel safe. You have to, that's where the reprogramming comes in. That's where I come in. You know, all of the tools, the mindset tools, EFT, tapping, visualization, hypnotherapy, NLP, all of those tools to really, um, bring in the repetition.
And bring in the [00:21:00] safety, bring in the safety around it, because we want to shift the inter, that internal set point of yours. You know, practice being the version of you who always sells, who is a really powerful leader, who speaks a fricking mind who answers the s whatever that is, and practice it and practice it and practice it.
Remember the, the subconscious learns best from repetition until you literally prove it to yourself in the motion, like in that. As your new normal. And then we want to finally create external evidence. So I'm all about those very micro actions, very micro, very aligned actions that reinforce the new identity because you want your brain to build that new neur pathway.
So we don't just wanna feel confident, we want to prove. It to yourself and being in motion with that. So what are the kind of micro actions that you can take that are going to [00:22:00] really speak to that? You know, what would. The whatever money per month you wanna make version of me already know. How would she show up this week?
What would she be entertaining? What would she not be entertaining? And when you are doing those micro actions, I always say to my clients like, reaffirm it as you are doing the actions. This is who I am now. This is how we do things. I am safe. I am safe. I am fricking safe. Mm. Okay. You know what to do. You have got the list.
You've got the four steps. Self consistency isn't something that I want you to be ashamed of. Judge yourself with, be annoyed with. Not a weakness. It is literally a protection. Your subconscious has been trying to keep you safe this whole time, but we know. That safety is created when you are building like this internal congruence with the woman that you are becoming [00:23:00] like, we want that.
We want that with you, and I want you to create self consistency from the identity that really speaks to your dreams. We want to align your identity with where you are going. And a lot of the time, if you want different results, if you want new results, you don't need to change everything, especially your strategy.
We need to become, become that identity that holds it all, that has it all, et cetera. When you are self-consistent with the woman who always sells who, who always leads, who always scales, I've seen it time and time again with my one-to-one. The world catches up really fast. The the external world cra catches up really fast.
And my God, I think I'm passionate about this one. This is why my words. Keeps spilling out my mouth, right. I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode. Let's have a look out for that self consistency, where we're seeing it, where it's lacking, where it's mismatched. Get those two pieces of [00:24:00] paper, the old you, the new you, whatever you wanna call them.
The kind of identity one, identity two, where are the gaps? Have a look at that, and then have a look at the micro actions that will really start to speak to your subconscious in bridging that over and being. Consistent with the new self concept. I love you so much. Let me know if you've got any questions.
Ping me a DM on Instagram and I'll be there. I'll see you in the next episode. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast. And of course, that Juicy five star rating.
These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head [00:25:00] over to Rebecca Haydon dot com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!