How Do You Know if the Missing Piece Is Strategy or Subconscious [ep. #232]

20 May

You'll learn how to identify if you're in "self" (calm, confident, capable) or being run by a protective part, plus questions to ask yourself when you feel stuck. Your subconscious is the operating system, and your strategy is the map – now let's get them to work together!

Topics covered on Strategy or Subconscious:

Which common subconscious patterns might be disguising themselves as strategy problems?
How can you tell if you're operating from "self" or being led by a protective "part"?
What questions should you ask yourself when you feel stuck or uncertain in your business?
Why do most business challenges involve both strategy and subconscious work?
How can you create subconscious safety around visibility, rejection, and success?
How can you lead your business from clarity rather than conditioning?

Connect with Rebecca Haydon:

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Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related episodes you may enjoy:

Quote:

"The most successful people in business are not the ones that push through. They're the ones who lead themselves from self, with awareness, with strategy, with safety, and with all the bloody subconscious tools to hold it all." - Rebecca Haydon

Transcription:

Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!

[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.

So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello my gorgeous lady, and welcome back to the subconscious. Expert. I'm quite excited for today's podcast episode because it has come straight from the source of one of my clients inside one of my containers, and she asked me a very, very powerful question and.

It was that powerful of an answer that I wanted to bring it to the podcast and share it with you, my lovely listeners, because I know how much it's going to help you too. Now, her [00:01:00] question, or was this Beck? In your opinion, how do you know if the missing piece is strategy or subconscious? And what I'm gonna tell you from the absolute get go is.

Honestly, it is rarely one without the other. It really truly is. And in today's podcast episode, I want to really dive deep into the neuroscience, the subconscious safety, the role of the prefrontal cortex, and actually how I look and how I. Perceive the strategy versus the subconscious, especially when I'm working with my one-to-ones, because I am so involved in their business and I'm really helping them both refine and hold the strategy that they currently have and have the subconscious to bring the foundations to make the strategy work.

And to be honest, I think the answer probably holds the key. [00:02:00] To whether you keep spinning your bloody wheels or you finally break through it. So I'm giving you no fluff today. We are going very, very deep and I cannot wait. So let's dive in. So I wanted to have a look first of all on kind of this. Surface versus the root.

And this is kind of where I see people, um, unintentionally stay stuck in business because a lot of people, a lot of entrepreneurs, I mean people in general, inside and outside of business, are trying to solve very root level problems with surface level, usually strategy. Let me break that down. So. Say, for example, you kind of hit a bit of a, a lull in your sales or your content isn't converting, or your audience feels really quiet.

Your brain [00:03:00] naturally, especially in the entrepreneur space, especially in the online space, is trained and people train you to do this in the online space to train to, to. Check, oh my God. Trained to change the strategy. So immediately you are like, well, maybe I should niche down. Maybe I need a better call to action.

Maybe I need to rework the entire motherfucking offer. And actually, it brings you into this constant, constant, constant cycle of pivoting, of tweaking, of perfecting, of second guessing, and all of those feel really productive. I get it. I see it happen all the time, but more often than not, what I find is it is literally a form of protection.

The co, the subconscious is uncomfortable. It probably feels unsure, it maybe feels unsafe, and so it [00:04:00] really. Disguises all of those because the subconscious doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable, unsure, or unsafe. It disguises that as strategy, refinement, and listen. Sometimes your messaging, your content, your offers, the way you talk about them, whether you're selling or not, does need refinement.

Sometimes your funnel isn't aligned. This isn't about ignoring the strategy. It's about not making these surface level strategy. Um. Connections, the whole answer and what I've seen over and over and over again in client work, in my own business, in the subconscious space, is that you cannot see strategy clearly and where it needs to change and where it needs to be refined when you are operating from a dysregulated nervous [00:05:00] system, and when you are coming from beliefs that are not serving you.

And this is where it tends to be the both. Because yes, it might be a refinement of the strategy, but if your subconscious is leading from beliefs and patterns and behaviors that are not serving you, you can't actually see what that refinement is. When you are not grounded in self, which is what I teach inside the subconscious membership, inside my one-to-ones being and getting yourself back into what we call self, when you are being led by fear, by pressure, by doubt, by urgency, a lot of that will then be.

Overcompensated with perfectionism, you are going to be delaying your action, um, your action taken and telling yourself that, oh, it, we, you know, it's just not quite right yet. Or, I wanted to do this before I did that. You're gonna become like hyper fixated on the [00:06:00] metrics, on the outcomes, and literally you will change the plan, the plan that you've took, ages writing that's been on your wall every Monday for the last three months to avoid the discomfort of staying in it.

These aren't strategy problems. They are subconscious perception problems. And actually your subconscious every day determines what lens you interpret the data. You interpret your decisions, you interpret your results. Like depending on what lens you are looking through, you are going to look at data, analytics, money that you've made.

In a different way, depending on what lens, subconscious lens you are coming from. So when you are in a part that's scared or uncertain or fearing or doubting, that lens then becomes distorted in business. Let me give you an example on this 'cause it might allow you to see it a little bit clearly. [00:07:00] So let's say your launch doesn't go the way you wanted to.

Now from self, you might say, Hmm, interesting. Okay. Where did people drop off? Was the nurture email sequence that I sent out strong enough. What could I do to improve the messaging next time? Do I need to be clearer on X, Y, Z? Very curious, right? We're coming from it from a curious manner. Now, if you are in a protective part, you are going to instead.

Spiral into. Nobody wants this. I'm not good at launching. This isn't working. I need to change the whole offer. I'm not good enough. I'm not launching ever again. My business is blowing up and going to shit, and I give up. I fail. Same result. Exactly the same result. Different reaction. Different response. And [00:08:00] only one of those reactions is ever going to lead you to long term momentum.

You can see that, right? And that is why I always, always say. You don't have a strategy problem or a subconscious problem, you have a self-awareness problem. And that's why I really, really drive and push in my content about how self-aware we need to be in business. Because until, you know who is driving the show, who is driving the boat, um, in my head it's a boat.

When I do parts work all the time, like I'm the captain of the ship when I'm in self, like until, you know who's driving, whether it's. Self or whether it's a part you will keep reacting instead of leading. You will keep making mistakes and you will, and those mistakes will be symptoms for the source.

You'll keep trying to do your way out of a subconscious safety issue the moment that you come [00:09:00] back into self. Ah. It's such a beautiful place to live. Everything shifts, and actually you can then assess your strategy without the emotional charge because how often are you coming to the strategy with emotion behind it?

You can respond rather than reacting. That was such a big message that I used to put on social media and so many people resonated with it. We wanna be responding in our business not reacting, and when we're in that. When you can assess your strategy without the emotional charge, when you can respond instead of reacting, when you can disassociate and dis and, and detach from your business being you, and that you are not good enough and that you are off, you know, like everyone is not buying you, that's where the real growth begins.

So let's go a little bit deeper into how. [00:10:00] The brain works in business because this is truly the missing piece for so many, and I have spoke about this before on the podcast. If you have, if you've gone back in the archive, now, your prefrontal cortex is what we call the CEO of your brain. That's where we wanna be, baby.

And it's responsible for the decision making, the logic, the long-term planning, the weighing the consequences. And this is truly where your strategy lives when you are grounded. And regulated and resourced, the prefrontal cortex is running the show, and that is when you can think clearly about your positioning.

You can maybe notice the gaps in your messaging. You can refine your funnel. You can decide what actions need to be taken, but what people, what [00:11:00] most people don't tell you is. The prefrontal cortex literally switches offline. It goes on holiday, it goes to bed. The moment your subconscious perceives a threat, not a real one, never truly is ever really a real one, a perceived one.

That could be visibility, it could be rejection, it could be failure, judgment, success, all of the above of the things that I always talk about. So now. Instead of like strategizing and bringing strategy to the table, like a grounded business owner that you want to be, you are then making decisions from what we call your limbic system, which is your emotional brain.

And when people are in the limbic system, the amygdala, what I see them doing is overthinking instead of acting. It like taking the action, panicking, like tweaking the offer every [00:12:00] week. Shutting down and telling themselves it's never gonna work when no one buys right away. Looping in there like, oh, well it's, you know, maybe it's just me.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. Maybe I'm always gonna be it. Maybe it's always gonna be this way for me. Everyone else gets it, gets it, and I don't those spirals, you know, abandons the strategy completely looks for a new mentor me. Model Mastermind, you name it, right? That's not strategy. That is subconscious survival.

This is why I teach and like the predominance of my work is teaching my clients how to identify when they're in self. Because when you are in self, you are in the seas. Calm, clear, creative, compassionate. All the Cs. Confident, capable, that's where the business thrives. And then teaching them when they're being run by a protective part when a part has [00:13:00] come in.

Because if you are not in self, you cannot access true strategic awareness. You can't separate you from the result. And I see so many people either thinking that they're the problem or clinging onto a strategy as a way to actually look at what's currently going on. Subconsciously, literally the foundation of all my work, teaching clients how to return to self so they can lead from the brain and the body of their next level.

Mm. It's magic. It's magic, magic work. So I wanted to just have a little walkthrough of some of the most common subconscious patterns I see and how they do show up in what we, what we think is a strategy problem. The first one that I see is the, the old pivot, and this is when. [00:14:00] Someone is changing their messaging, their niche, their content pillars, sometimes the whole fucking offer of the business, every fruit, EE, every few weeks.

And that's not a strategic evolution, which it can be. And quite a lot of my clients go through that because we've done the work when they're pivoting like every couple of days. It's avoidance. Dressed up in like this reinvention of themselves. Right? And actually when we drop into their subconscious, a lot of it is fear of failure.

Fear of being like boxed into something that they, um, that they think they'll be boxed into forever. Fear of being s being seen or not chosen. So what, what looks like a very. Uh, strategic misalignment is actually your subconscious trying to get rid of the discomfort, like literally run from it. And until you soothe and nurture and reparent that part, no [00:15:00] strategy will stick.

You will constantly keep switching because safety hasn't been created with that commitment to what you are doing. The second one that I see is what, what I like to call the silent launcher, and this person will literally pour months, months into their offer. Write the most sterning curriculum. When it's time to sell.

They might sell for a day. Uh, two days, maybe even three. And then they, they disappear off the face of the earth and they'll say it's maybe because the timing was off or it didn't land straight away. The strategy didn't feel right, but actually. A part of them is afraid of judgment. Maybe a part of them believes they're too much, not enough, the emotional risk of rejection or it failing or it's succeeding, and then not being [00:16:00] able to hold it.

So the nervous system goes into absolute shutdown. Again, not a strategy issue. It is like an identity safety mismatch, and. Building subconscious safety with success and attention and visibility then will make your launch not feel a threat. It will feel like a n kind of like neutral, like a neutral event for you.

Third pattern is, um, the consistent but not convinced it's working. Like I'm convinced it's not working. Kind of client and usually my favorite because it's very, very sneaky because you're doing everything. You are posting, you're selling, you're showing up, you're launching, and it's not convert, like it's not converting and.

Sometimes they think like, okay, maybe my strategy, strategy sucks. Maybe I should hire another coach. Maybe I should switch platforms. [00:17:00] But the energy underneath it, the way that they're posting, selling, showing up and launching is frantic, grasping, proving, and the subconscious still believes. I'm not enough unless I'm getting results.

I need the sale to feel safe. So while the strategy is technically right, the state that they are actually executing it is what's repelling everything I. And we need to do deep subconscious work around self-worth, around detachment, around internal validation. So the same strategy that wasn't working suddenly starts converting because you are in safety as well.

You are starting to see the patterns here, that the kind of strategy doesn't exist on its own. It's always filtered through the subconscious lens. So the real question then becomes, and maybe this is something that you wanna ask yourself, who is running the [00:18:00] business right now? Who is currently showing up day to day?

Who's writing my content? Who's showing up on stories? Like is it self? Is it me, calm, confident, capable, curious, in my prefrontal cortex? Or is it a part of you that's trying to stay safe by hiding, by performing by overdelivering, by doubting by fear, like who is driving the ship, who is in charge. It really, really is so powerful to start.

To work this out. So yes, sometimes it is absolutely strategy, and it's usually when it comes to messaging, positioning, where I see the most refinement that I do with my clients. But what I find more than anything is that without your subconscious awareness, you will not be able to see that clearly. You will not [00:19:00] be able to see what the strategy needs to shift and how it needs to shift in the way that it needs to shift.

So to finish off, you might be saying, okay. Alright Beck, I get it. Like how, but like, but how, tell me how, how do I actually know if I'm in self or if I'm being led by a part? And this is where it becomes so powerful because the more you know how to check in with yourself, especially in business, the more you can lead your business from clarity rather than the conditioning that you've been.

Grown up that you've been brought up with, you've been grown up with. Definitely made no sense. So let's kind of give you like a few distinctions, and you might want to reflect on this about the last time that you maybe felt this. So when you are in self. You will feel like I said, the cs, calm, [00:20:00] grounded, and that is even if things aren't perfect, if you know someone's missed a payment, calm and grounded, not flying off the handle and making it something about you.

Clear about your next step open. Curious a lot of the time, all of the time, very willing to reflect on what's currently going on. Without spiraling it into a story, self connected to the possibilities. We are very present. So we're not kind of like not stuck in the past stories or not jump into the future and kind of creating a story around the future that it might not happen.

So. You are looking out for the cs, calm, confident, capable, curious, and if you haven't ever connected to self before, I would definitely get yourself inside the subconscious membership. I have a full classroom on parts, both self and the parts that are currently holding you back. Please [00:21:00] jump in. It is incredible, but more than anything is.

Really reflect on the last time that you were in the seas. So when was the last time that I felt calm, confident, capable, curious, clear, and what allowed me to be in that? What allowed me to be in that? On the flip side, when you'll being led by a part. So this is like the parts that are not allowing you to see what does need to be refined.

With the strategy, or whether it is strategy or whether it's, you know, a subconscious part coming up, you will feel pressure, rushed, panicked, avoidant, um. Lots of desperation, like desperate for certainty or desperate for validation. There is loads of reaction, lots of emotion spinning in the hole. What if, what if, what if?

What if? What if [00:22:00] loops, um, and very disconnected from you and what you actually want. So when I, to be honest, what I say to my clients is, if you're not in the seas, you're in a part and a lot of parts will show up in feelings, overwhelm, doubt, tired, like you name an emotion. It's a part that's coming in. So, couple of questions that you can ask yourself to kind of see who is driving.

You're back on my ship. I am the master of the ship. I'm on my ship and I wanna know who's driving the ship. So first question, what part of me is really present right now? I. What is it afraid of? And actually what we wanna do is we want to really start to separate you from the part. So instead of it's like, well, I'm spiraling.

I'm not good enough, I am anxious. It's okay. A part of me. [00:23:00] Is scared of failure or a part of me is feeling anxious or a part of me believes that this isn't going to work. When we can start to disassociate, you can then start to ask it the questions. What is this part trying to protect me from? Every part is protective.

Even the ones sabotaging your business, like we love them all because their goal is safety. They're not sabotaging. They're just literally trying to keep you safe from what they learned back in the day when you had to learn it. So really understanding like, what is this part protecting me from? Just have a conversation, like just have a conversation.

What does this part believe will happen if you insert the thing that it's currently not allowing you to do? And then. Bring yourself into self. Can I offer this part reassurance? What does it need to hear? What does it need right now? [00:24:00] Like, bring in that grounded, powerful self adult voice. Like speak to that part, like a loving leader and let them know that you are in charge.

Let them know that you're in charge. And the more that you do this, and the more you get to know self, and the more you get to know your parts, the quicker you can come back. And then you can decide is it subconscious or is it strategy, this process that, those kind of couple of, uh, like the couple of steps there.

It might sound very small, but honestly it is a game changer. I use it every single day with my clients. I use it with myself. And the more that you practice self, the more that you are in self, the more that becomes your baseline, the more you are in self, more than you are in parts. And honestly, when you identify and you can identify like who is driving, you get to choose that response like, thank you for keeping me safe.

I see you. I hear you. I've got this now, [00:25:00] and then from there you can look at your strategy with clarity, because sometimes it can be strategy, but unless we are looking from clarity and calm and capable and confident, you will overhaul your business every time you feel uncomfortable, and I want you to take that aligned action because you're leading from your true self, and that is truly when your business.

Flows, flows and flows and flows. Your subconscious is the operating system and your strategy is the map. That's how I see it. And you need a system that's regulated and safe and aligned so you can read the map clearly. You can read the map clearly. The most successful people in business are not the ones that push through.

They're the ones who lead themselves from [00:26:00] self with awareness, with strategy, with safety, and with all the bloody subconscious tools to hold it all. That's what I do inside my world. So I, I hope this has landed. I hope this has given you something to think about. All in all the answer is it's both usually always.

So, I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode. I will see you in the next one. And if you do wanna come and join the membership, I will tag the link in the show notes. And if you want more. More support from a one-to-one, uh, perspective. Please just hit the application form in the show notes too. I love your LUTs and I'll see you on the next episode.

I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode. Reviewing the podcast, and of course, that Juicy five Star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach [00:27:00] more incredible powerhouses just like you.

Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon. For the full show notes and more resources, head over to Rebecca Haydon dot com. I'll see you there.

More about The Subconscious Expert:

Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!

Rebecca Haydon