I Scaled My Business by 70% And Worked Less! Because I Held My Business Boundaries [ep. #272]
Every single boundary in business I ever broke, I could justify. I told myself I was being responsive, being committed, being a good coach... But underneath all of that? I was terrified. Terrified that if I wasn't always available, people would leave. That if I said no, I wasn't valuable. And those people pleasing tendencies didn't start in my business. They started way before that, in a subconscious programme I picked up before I was seven years old.
In today's episode, I'm walking you through my own boundary journey, from answering client messages at ridiculous hours to scaling a business by 70% the year I had my daughter Ivy, all in roughly 24 work hours a week. I'm sharing with you why your subconscious is literally wired to trample your own boundaries, why you keep saying one thing and doing the opposite, and the five types of boundaries with clients and in your life that actually allow you to hold more without burning out.
If you keep stretching and stretching and wondering why something always breaks, this episode is for you! Ready to learn how to set healthy boundaries? Tune in now!
Topics covered on Boundaries in Business:
Why your people-pleasing tendencies are the real reason your business boundaries keep crumbling
What your brain has to do with why you can't hold boundaries in business (and no, it didn't start with your last client)
How I went from answering messages at ridiculous times to scaling a business by 70% on less than 24 hours a week
Why every boundary in business you break is actually teaching your subconscious that you can't be trusted
The five types of boundaries you need if you want to scale without your sanity jumping out the window
How to reprogramme your subconscious mind what business boundaries mean to you so holding them stops feeling terrifying
Why your clients will actually respect you more when you learn how to set healthy boundaries, not less
The one small thing I want you to do today if you're ready to set boundaries for yourself and actually hold them this time
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
Quote:
"The more I put these boundaries in, the more I was able to hold. I didn't lose clients. I most definitely didn't lose revenue. The scaling carried on." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
Boundaries in business are the unsexy topic no one wants to talk about, but honestly? They're the reason I scaled by 70% in the year I had my daughter. In today’s episode, I'm getting real about my people pleasing tendencies, how they wrecked my boundaries with clients, and where that pattern actually started (spoiler: it wasn't in my business).
I'm walking you through how to set boundaries for yourself that you'll actually hold, the five types of boundaries you need if you're serious about scaling a business without burning out, and how to set healthy boundaries when your entire subconscious is wired to trample over them. If you keep saying one thing and doing the other, this one's for you. It's time to reprogram your subconscious mind around what boundaries actually mean.
[00:00:00] Well, hello my gorgeous lady. Welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. Today we are diving deep, deep, deep, deep into boundaries. And I know, I freaking know. Yes, I know boundaries feel like that. Unsexy cousin of all the business topics that I could possibly talk about on this podcast, but. Unsexy or sexy.
[00:00:26] What I've actually learned over the last few years, our boundaries are truly, truly, truly what allow you to hold more, to have more, to be more to. Have it all. More clients, more revenue, um, more visibility, more growth in your business. Literally, all of it really lie on the foundations of your boundaries and how you hold them for yourselves.
[00:00:54] Because without boundaries, and I learned it the hard way, you just keep expanding and expanding and expanding and expanding until something breaks. And whether that be. Your old nervous system, um, whether that's the relationships that you have around you or, um, your standards starting to slip or literally, quite frankly, your sanity jumps out the window.
[00:01:25] Boundaries have a lot of play in these things. So today I am walking through why. You actually struggle to hold boundaries in the first place. This is a big, big concept that I work with, with my clients and where they're scaling to. And we're gonna have a look at where that pattern started. Um, I kind of promise you it didn't start in your business.
[00:01:51] So let's have a look at that, um, and actually what strategically needs to shift around your boundaries. And we're gonna have a look at lots of different types of boundaries today so you can actually scale your business and have a life without burning out. So I wanna start with my boundary journey, because quite frankly, I was fucking terrible at boundaries and like really, really, really terrible.
[00:02:15] Now when I look at. Why I was so bad with my boundaries. It all kind of stems back to the people, please tendency that I had within me and a lot of the time, and I really saw this as I was growing up, especially with my mom. This was a pattern that I really modeled from my mom. God love her, but I still see it sometimes now, is that she goes, and it's just such a beautiful trait.
[00:02:43] She goes above and beyond for everyone. For absolutely everyone. She will drop anything for you at the literal drop of a hat. And I think it is such a beautiful, beautiful part of her, [00:03:00] but sometimes it's to the detriment of herself. And I watched her do that and I watched her be that, and then I became that too.
[00:03:07] So I, at any given moment would. Jump to, um, serving clients, answering clients back, saying yes to opportunities that didn't really serve me a lot of. Stepping across my own boundaries. And a lot of it was coming from people pleasing. A lot of it was coming from this like necessant need to keep people happy.
[00:03:34] Um, one big one for me was to make sure that people liked me, to make sure I was loved, insert all the beliefs that are, were coming up around that time and really, I. A lot of the boundaries were, I was stepping over them that much. But again, from like a really, what I thought was a really good space because I wanted to do that and I loved doing that and I love what I do and I loved my clients.
[00:04:01] Um, I still love my clients and, but what was actually happening is. I would be answering messages at ridiculous times, both am and pm And look, sometimes I do that now, but it's because I hold my boundaries so much that if I choose to do it now, it is because of a choice, not because I've stepped over a boundary.
[00:04:25] Um, I tell myself that I wasn't gonna work on the weekends, and then I would spend the entire weekend working. Convincing myself that it was very urgent. Um, I'd tell myself like, I'm done for the day, and I would just keep going. Um, and I honestly, every boundary that I overstepped back in the day, I could justify all of it.
[00:04:49] Like, I could justify every single boundary that I was overstepping with myself. Um, I would tell myself that I'm being responsive and, um, I was being committed. I was being committed to my clients and committed to my business. And this is who I am. I'm a, I'm a high achiever and I'm a striver, and this is how we do things.
[00:05:11] And, you know, I'm, I like being available, but actually really if we look underneath what was going on for me. A lot of them was coming from me being just really terrified. Like really terrified that if I wasn't always available, um. People wouldn't like me or people would leave, or I wasn't valuable and I was terrified that if I actually stopped working, everything would fall apart.
[00:05:37] Um, if I didn't get back to a client within 10 seconds of them messaging me, they would think that this was a complete waste of time, of being in the container, insert all of the beliefs that I created and I really had to learn. I really had to learn because there was a time. This was more so in Australia where [00:06:00] the hard thing was in Australia is I didn't have much to do apart from work on my business.
[00:06:07] I, the relationship that I had. Wasn't fun, and I didn't have many friends out there. Um, so I did work because there was nothing else to do, but it again, brought in these like really bad habits and really bad boundaries that I just never switched off. And I think that is scope. When you have your own business, you do, um, you, you are thinking about it a lot.
[00:06:31] However, it was. Like really, really depleting my energy and depleting how I felt towards the business as well. And actually when I came back from Australia, which was 2022, which seems absolutely mental now, that was when my boundaries really started to change. And it was actually Jack who played a massive part in my boundaries because I can actually remember us having a conversation where he's like, so when do we hang out together?
[00:07:00] Like, when do we get to go on date nights or when? When do you get to talk to me? And I was like, ah. Right, okay. Yeah. Like now I've got to make space for. A relationship that I do wanna have just because I was so used to not having that in Australia and I was like, oh, okay. Like now, and, and you know, my friends who are now back in the uk So I'd gone from being in this quite restrictive place where I was getting away with stepping over my own boundaries, um, to a place where people were calling out, calling me out on it, and I was like, right, something's got to change.
[00:07:34] And it changed in a way that was really powerful. And quite frankly, when I made these changes with my boundaries, I had a lot of comments from my clients saying how much they respect, how much I respect my own boundaries. And actually by them, and I had so many clients say this, by them watching me hold my boundaries, really allowed them to learn that they could hold their boundaries too.
[00:08:03] So sometimes you think that holding your boundaries is going to do the opposite, but actually it really empowered my clients too. So I started bringing in boundaries, especially around, I was using Voxer at the time, so how and when, and how much I was in Voxer, um, when I would be working, when I wouldn't be working, how much time I was in the business versus how much I was having a life outside of the business.
[00:08:26] Um, energetic boundaries, et cetera, which we're gonna get into today. And then of course. I then had a child, um, and once I had Ivy, my God, I had absolutely no choice but to get really, really clear on what actually mattered, because freedom is really a thing before you have a child. And I didn't realize how much freedom I had in my time and in my business until after I'd had Ivy and I couldn't be.[00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Like available in the way that even with the boundaries that I had in place before Ivy, like I couldn't be available the way that I was before. Um, I like physically couldn't do it. Like I physically couldn't do it. There was like this tiny human, um, who needed me and still needs me. Now let's, let's be frank.
[00:09:19] We are in the, I only want mommy stage at the moment, so I couldn't, I physically couldn't keep stepping over or. Let my boundaries slip in any way because I wasn't willing to sacrifice. Being present with her to prove that I was committed to my business. 'cause what the fuck is that? Anyway, so I built boundaries before Ivy, and then I built more boundaries after Ivy.
[00:09:47] And this looks really for me, like contained work hours. And quite frankly, I have no option, you know? 3:00 PM comes around and me and Jack go, wow, we're here already. It's time to go and pick her up from nursery. If she's at nursery on that day, I can't work on the evenings because sleep is sometimes so sporadic.
[00:10:07] Uh, weekends are our family time. Like when three p pm hits on a day that she's at nursery, I'm done. Like I was done. Um, and when she's at home, I have to, we have to factor together me and Jack of how we want the work day to look and if we are gonna work or if we're gonna have a family day. Um, and the more I put these boundaries in, the more I was able to hold.
[00:10:35] And I hold a lot in the business. Um, especially bringing in the subconscious institute last year, you know, that is a whole other business in itself. So actually the more I bought in these boundaries, um, I didn't lose clients. I most definitely didn't lose revenue. Um, I actually stayed on top of things more than I did before, and the scaling carried on.
[00:10:57] You know, like if you look, and I know I've spoke about this a lot recently, but the physical evidence from my accountant was we literally scaled by 70% the year that I gave birth and the year that I had Ivy. Um, and that was. A lot of it down to the boundaries that I was holding boundaries no longer. I, I think in my head I was like, oh my God, boundaries are like harsh and they limit me and it's structure and that feels like routine and that's boring.
[00:11:27] But actually the boundaries have created the capacity to actually hold more because when your time. Is contained, which I never really knew was a thing until I had a baby. Um, you are absolutely ruthless about what actually matters in that moment. Like, I don't have fucking time to do busy work. I don't have time to fill time because time is there, like the time that I have and the blocks that I put in are focusing on what moves the needle and [00:12:00] when and when my energy is protected by the boundaries that I hold.
[00:12:04] I get to show up so much more powerfully in the hours that I do work, and a lot of the time I am running on. No more than four hours sleep because that's just the phase that I'm in right now with Ivy. But actually my energy is protected in the day, so I don't get depleted. Um, it might feel like I'm running on fumes with the amount of sleep that I have, but the way that I hold myself in other places allow me to not feel like that.
[00:12:31] And that's not me saying that I don't feel tired, my God, what I would do to sleep through the night, but it's. It would be so much worse if I didn't have the boundaries in and not sleeping as well. And I think when you hold yourself to this standard, and a lot of the time, and this is work that I'm currently doing on myself because I hold my, I hold myself to such a standard, sometimes a little bit too high, which is another podcast for another time.
[00:12:59] Um, but when you hold those standards, we stop kind of leaking energy everywhere. Um, and you, you do stop saying yes. To things that don't serve you. And you, you stop over delivering to like prove that you're good enough or prove that you are worth it or prove whatever you are proving by keep running over your boundaries at the moment.
[00:13:20] And actually, you know, I right now. Have 24 hours a week. So Ivy goes to nursery four times, um, four times a week. No, wait, four times a no. What, what is it? Four days a week, God, start again. Uh, I, yeah. She goes to nursery four days a week and. That is eight till four. So half of it, like if I, I start around half eight if I'm back and I'm ready before that, um, if not nine o'clock or then I have to walk Barney, you know, there's lots of things.
[00:13:57] So it's like nine, 10 o'clock start and really I need to be wrapping up about three. So I actually probably have less than 24 hours really per week to actually work solidly without disruption on the business. And I run two businesses. We've got Rebecca Haydon Limited. We've got the subconscious Institute and.
[00:14:18] They both run in those hours. I obviously have help and support because I could not do it all alone. Um, but I'm then able to be fully present with Ivy and I mean, I have no choice to work on evenings and, you know, sometimes if she has gone to bed and there's been things that I haven't got back to, I will because that was my choice.
[00:14:38] Um, but I'm more than like literally more. Successful than I've ever been because of the boundaries that I'm holding. So if boundaries are this powerful, like if boundaries could change your life this much, and if they actually create the the capacity to hold more, to have more, to be [00:15:00] more, why do you keep breaking them?
[00:15:03] Like why do you set work hours for yourself and then work late anyway? Or why do you say, no, I won't be taking any meetings after 4:00 PM and then a client says, but I can only do seven. And you go, okay, let's do 7:00 PM Or why do you tell yourself that you're taking the weekend off and then you spend Saturday.
[00:15:24] Being productively, procrastinating and not really getting anything done anyway, a lot of the time it is down to the subconscious. And as we know on this podcast, that is what we talk about. Now, usually, like I said, with my experience, it starts when you are actually really, really young. Because as we know, and if you've listened to many of my podcasts before, when you are a kid, um, particularly under the age of seven, your brain is.
[00:15:55] What we call a theta brainwave state. So the theta brainwave state is the same state, the same brainwave state that we take you into during hypnosis, and the theta brainwave state is highly, highly suggestible, and it's literally absorbing. Everything around you like a sponge. That's why hypnotherapy is so powerful and so subtle because it's literally absorbing as I'm speaking to you, whilst you're in that brainwave state now.
[00:16:25] In that state, which is what you are in during the ages of zero to seven, you kind of don't have that analytical mind where you go, oh, my mom's doing that. I kind of don't agree with that, so I'm not gonna do that. You just take it on. Like, my mom's doing that, so therefore that's what it means to me.
[00:16:40] That's what I believe too. Um, and in that state, in this, this theater, brainwave state, you were learning, um. What was rewarded, you know, what kept you safe or what got you love or what got you approval. So maybe during your childhood or you during your upbringing, maybe you learned that being helpful, got you attention or got you praise.
[00:17:11] Um, maybe you learnt that saying yes, uh, even when you wanted to say no. Made the adults around you happy. Maybe you learnt or saw that your needs came second to everyone else, or maybe saw you, saw your mom do that or your caregiver do that. Um, maybe you learned or were taught that having boundaries were selfish or difficult, or meant that you were stern or that you weren't a good person.
[00:17:45] Now, whatever you learn in those early years. Your subconscious literally stores it as the absolute truth. 'cause it's not in the position to question it, like it will absorb it, and then [00:18:00] it basically built your operating system around it. So now, tootle, tootle, tootle, tootle, toodle into adulthood. Now as an adult running a business, you are still running the same programs as what you saw.
[00:18:14] So when a client message you at 9:00 PM. Your subconscious doesn't clock it and go, this is my outside, like this is outside my work hours. I'll respond tomorrow. Your subconscious is like, oh my god, fuck. If I don't respond right now, I'm not being helpful. And if I'm not helpful, I'm not valuable. And if I'm not valuable, I'm not loved.
[00:18:34] And if I'm not loved, I am dead. Like that literally is where it takes you to, because that's the programming that it's soar. Um, when someone asks for more than what you originally agreed to your brain. Is not going well. That's outside the scope. No. Um, it kind of goes, you know, if this was the learning that you got, like, well, if I say no, they're gonna think I'm difficult and if they think I'm difficult, they're gonna leave me.
[00:19:01] Can you see how that kind of anything boundary wise is really shooting back to what you learn? So it almost overrides it. Consciously, you're not sitting there thinking, I'm going to ignore every boundary I have set for myself right now. Like, you're not thinking that are you? Because then we would question it.
[00:19:23] Your subconscious is literally running a program that says boundaries aren't safe, or boundaries mean this, or boundaries equal X, Y, Z. Um, and the more. You step over your own boundary, the more that you say yes when you wanna say no, the more that you've got that time in your, you know that's what it is.
[00:19:43] And then you step over it. The more you are actually teaching your subconscious that you don't hold your own standards like that, you can't be trusted to protect your own capacity. And the more you do that, the more your brain believes that your subconscious is running the program. That holding more and having more.
[00:20:12] And being more and holding more clients means sacrificing yourself. So it keeps you exactly where you are at. Like you, staying small right now feels safer than expanding to something that you don't believe you can hold. So I just want you to start to have a ponder. It might be one of the things that I've spoke about today with how you perceive boundaries to be and what they are for you.
[00:20:34] Um. But actually, where are you sitting with the subconscious belief around them Now, how do we actually hold boundaries when your entire subconscious is literally wired to trample all over them? What we have to do is we have to reprogram what BA boundaries actually mean to your brain. So like I said, right now.
[00:20:57] You have an equation that your [00:21:00] subconscious has stored, um, around boundaries. So it could be boundaries mean you're selfish, or boundaries mean you are not working hard enough, or boundaries mean you are going to lose something that was mine. You know, lose love or approval or clients or money or success.
[00:21:20] A lot of it comes back to the safety that we need as humans. So we need to teach your subconscious a completely. Different, new truth. Um, and there's a lot of ways that we do this, but we want your subconscious to know that boundaries actually mean capacity. Um, one big, big one for me was that boundaries really protected my ability to deliver.
[00:21:46] At a really fucking high standard. And that for me is like a huge value of mine to be the best coach that I can be. And the more I stepped over my boundaries, the more depleted I was, the worse of a coach I become. 'cause I just didn't have the cognitive energy. So boundaries for me mean I'm a better coach.
[00:22:04] I'm a better business owner. I'm a better partner for Jack. I'm a better mom for Ivy. Like that's what boundaries give me. So boundaries is how you actually hold more without burning out, and you wanna do that through evidence. It's really, really important. You need to set yourself up to succeed when you are bringing in.
[00:22:24] Boundaries. It is so, so important because your subconscious, um, won't just listen to this and be like, oh, well, Becky said that boundaries mean that it's safe and done. Like that's not how the subconscious learns. The subconscious learns through. Evidence, it learns through proof. Um, we really want evidence that this new belief is actually safe.
[00:22:46] So I want you to start small. I want you to set a boundary and I want you to hold it. And that moment that you hold it, I want you to want celebrate the fuck out of it. And two, go look proof and evidence that when I hold my boundaries, we are okay. And you can set things up. For example, I had to, and I do still to this day send out a very clear.
[00:23:09] Client guide when people start working with me and it breaks down exactly how much time it takes for me to get back to them, what hours I am available and what hours I am not when my holidays are, it tells them everything so I know that I already have that their holding me before we've even got into the container.
[00:23:29] And if anyone starts to get Aggie with that, which never happens, but if they were to, I go as per the client guide, which. I know all of my clients, adults, and I know all of them can read the guide that I send them, that I tell them to read. So just a quick reminder as per the client guide, this is the scope.
[00:23:49] Um, you know, if I, you know, I have like a, a certain amount of turnover time to check. Um, client work if I'm, if that's what I'm doing for them. And they're like, oh, they sent it me [00:24:00] 10 minutes ago and they're like, have you checked this yet? And I'm like, as per the client guide, I actually have a 48 hour turn, uh, turnover for checking client, uh, things so they know we hold the boundary.
[00:24:11] And actually, the more that you can do that, the more you set boundaries and you hold them. I would definitely start small if. Boundaries are a big thing for you. That feels scary. The more that you do that, the more we insert this new, uh, safety around that. Like, did you lose the client? Probably not. Did the revenue drop?
[00:24:29] Probably not. Did everything fall apart? No. Did you die? No. Like did the client actually respect you more? Yes. That's what happened to me. Um, like did you show up better in your work because you had more energy? Yes. Okay. Brilliant. So we are just giving your subconscious the evidence that holding the boundary is safe, and then you do it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again and again.
[00:24:52] Repetition, repetition, repetition, until your brain literally stops seeing the boundary as a threat, and it will start to see them as protection, like boundaries. Just become your new normal. That is the power, like that's the subconscious work. And for me, setting the boundary is one thing, but actually holding it consistently enough that your brain learns that this is safe.
[00:25:16] That's where the magic happens. So just before we finish, let's get a bit practical. On what boundaries actually matter in your business and how do you figure out what your boundaries need to be? So there are kind of five types of boundaries that I think are absolutely essential, um, and essential to kind of scale without burning out.
[00:25:38] And each one, I wanna give you something to ponder on, some questions to work through. So first one, we've spoke about it a lot. Time boundaries. When are you working? When are you stopping? So for me, I work kind of nine till three, four days a week. That's it. No evenings, no weekends, no. Just, I'll just quickly check my phone.
[00:25:58] Can I just quickly do that when 3:00 PM hits, like I am done and quite frankly, it might not be till three because I might want some free time, um, in those hours as well. So at 3:00 PM I am done. And you know, I have no option to be done because I have to pick Ivy up, but. Even if I haven't finished everything on my to-do list.
[00:26:21] That is fine 'cause that's the boundary. So I just want you to ponder on like what hours do I actually want to work? Like not what I think I should work in order for my business to be successful, but like what feels sustainable for me long term? I see so many videos being like, you are not driven and ambitious if you are not working in your business all the fucking time.
[00:26:42] And I'm like. Cool. Okay. For your life and the life that you live that might work for you, but quite frankly, will never work for me. And I don't want to do that all the time. I love my business. I love what I do, but I also want a life. So, you know, what do you, what hours do you actually want to be working and what feels sustainable [00:27:00] for you?
[00:27:01] Um, what would protect your energy, um, and allow you to show up more powerfully when you are working. Um, what would you need to say no to in order to protect those hours? You know, would you have to put that boundary in with a client if they asked to do a later call, for example? Um, and are you willing to hold it?
[00:27:22] Are you willing to hold this boundary even when a client, for example, asks for something outside of these hours? So write down your actual work hours. Get them in your calendar, communicate them. A lot of people don't do that. They set these boundaries and then they put them on the chest and put their coat on and they're like, no one's respecting my boundaries.
[00:27:41] And I'm like, you haven't fucking told anyone about your boundaries. So no wonder they're not respecting them. Like communicate to your clients and hold them like your life fricking depends on it because honestly it does. Um, right. Number two is communication boundaries. So how and when people can reach you.
[00:27:59] And I know I talk about a lot about clients, but I like, I would think about friends, like as you know, friends, family, what, whatever that is for you. So. What do you want that to look like? How do I actually want my clients to communicate with me and what feels sustainable? So in my client guide, I have a big section about how to actually use WhatsApp that serves us both in this container.
[00:28:24] So there's a bit in my client guide where I say, you know, if something's come up and I feel like it's more than I can coach you in WhatsApp because a lot of the time. If we kind of get into something in WhatsApp, I could be in there for, I mean, I could be in there all day if I allowed myself to be, and back and forth.
[00:28:42] And then my clients are getting like seven extra sessions with me a week because I'm in WhatsApp with them so much. And first of all, one, it makes them so reliant on me, which I don't want, and two. It's then depleting my energy too. And actually, because it's in WhatsApp, it's not, it would've been better in a call.
[00:28:59] So how do you actually want your clients to communicate with you? What feels sustainable? Um, what forms of communication drain your energy? Like what makes you feel like you're always on, um, respond time. Like what? Respond time feels reasonable. FYI doesn't have to be the moment that they message you again, they're adults, they're okay, they're not gonna die.
[00:29:22] Um, and actually again, how can you communicate these boundaries clearly so your clients or whoever it is know exactly what to expect. So that's something that was really important for me and really helped me. Um, next one is kind of the scope. So. What, what in your scope is like what's included in your offer and what's not?
[00:29:43] Like if something asks, um, if someone asks you for something outside the scope to what you've agreed with, and you say yes to keep the peace like. I want you to have a boundary about that. Like, okay, that's not part of what we originally agreed to. [00:30:00] Um, I'm happy to add it on for X price if you'd like, whatever that is.
[00:30:04] So you know what's actually included in how I deliver and what I'm delivering. Um, have a look where you're currently over delivering beyond what you're being paid for or what's inside the offer. Um. What would you need to communicate more clearly at the beginning so clients know exactly what they're actually getting.
[00:30:25] Um, get really clear on that, what's in and what's out. Get really clear on that. And then the last two is your energy boundaries. Um, so what are you saying yes to and what do you don't? Especially with clients, um, you know. I don't say yes to opportunities because they're available if they don't actually serve where I'm actually going or what I wanna do.
[00:30:49] Um, I don't work with people who feel misaligned with me or who drain me. Um, and I kind of don't feel guilty about that because I want to be the best person that I want to be. And actually, if I keep saying yes to things that completely drain me all the time, then that's where we've got the problem. So are you currently working?
[00:31:12] With things, opportunities, people that drain your energy, like are you saying yes to opportunities out of obligation or because you think you have to rather than something that feels genuinely aligned to you? Um. What would you need to say no to, to protect your energy for the work that actually matters?
[00:31:33] Um, and a big one that I do with work with my clients with, and this is especially when we've done a lot of the alignment and subconscious work, is like, what are you willing to let go of? Um, whether that is clients opportunities that don't serve you. Um, I know it feels like a short term loss at the moment, but it's a big term gain in that respect.
[00:31:52] And then lastly is the standards. Like, what will you and won't you tolerate about how people interact with you and your business? So late payments? No, absolutely not. Um, boundary pushing clients who can like, constantly ask for more. Absolutely. Not being spoken to in a disrespectful way. No. Like what standards, um, are you holding?
[00:32:20] What behaviors are you currently tolerating that you shouldn't be? Or what standards have you let slip because you were worried about maybe losing the client? Um, have a little think of these, like, what would need to change for me to like, feel respected in my business relationships, for example. So really kind of understand what that looks like and how that feels, and then start to build these out more really, really powerful stuff.
[00:32:48] So. So much starts to shift When you hold your boundaries and you stick to them and you prove to your subconscious that it's safe, your [00:33:00] clients respect you more. You stop over delivering. You actually have capacity and calm and creativity because you are back in the prefrontal cortex. You are not in firefighting.
[00:33:12] Fight off. Flight all the time, like you are lead in and you are not on this rollercoaster anymore, you can then scale. It's really, really powerful. And more importantly than anything with this is I want you to trust yourself. I want you to prove to yourself that you can set a standard and actually hold it.
[00:33:35] Every, in everywhere, not just in your business, in your life as well. So for me, boundaries didn't make me work less. I still work the, the amount of hours that I, I mean, I would love to work more, but that's what I'm working with at the moment. Um, boundaries are really like protecting your ability to show up powerfully in the time that you do work to sh to be intentional with that you boundaries about teaching your subconscious that you can hold more.
[00:34:01] Without having to sacrifice everything else that matters to you. If you keep breaking your boundaries, if you keep saying one thing and doing the other, or you feel stretched or overworked. And it literally doesn't feel possible to hold any more than you are already holding. I want you to start here. I want you to set one small boundary.
[00:34:24] I want you to hold it. I want you to prove that that boundary is safe, and then I just want you to repeat or rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. I hope you found today's episode a good one, insightful things to work on, and I'm excited for you to really step into this boundary era in your business.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!