The Subconscious Reason You Feel Salesy (and How to Sell High Ticket Offers with Confidence and Power) [ep. #226]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Let’s be honest, how many times have you told yourself, “I don’t want to be salesy” or “I don’t want to talk about my offer too much”?
You’re not alone and this episode is your permission slip to release the guilt that’s been secretly driving your sales. Because the truth is: your strategy isn’t the problem. Your subconscious conditioning is.
In this episode, I’m diving into the subconscious roots of why selling might feel like proving. Why high-ticket offers might bring up guilt. And why you’re subconsciously over-explaining, overgiving, or undercharging, even when you know your work changes lives.
We’re going deep into the nervous system responses, the “good girl” conditioning, and the internal rewiring that allows you to finally sell with certainty, self-leadership, and power.
If you’re ready to stop justifying and start leading, this episode is for you.
Topics covered on Subconscious Selling:
The subconscious roots of sales guilt and why it feels safer to over-explain or shrink
How childhood patterns and praise shaped your current visibility blocks
The real reason your pricing, CTA, or offer still feels “sticky”
Signs you’re selling from proving instead of power
Journal prompts to shift from guilt to grounded confidence
Identity work to rewire how you hold, share, and sell your work
The subtle but powerful difference between hustle energy and embodied leadership
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Quote:
"You don’t need to prove your worth. You just need to rewire the belief that being powerful means being unsafe." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Hello, my beautiful lady. Welcome back to the subconscious Expert. I'm gonna go straight in. I want you to be honest with me now, how many times have you told yourself, Ooh, I don't wanna be salesy, I don't wanna talk about my offer too much. I wanna just keep educating and hope that my ideal clients guess how they work with me.
Hmm. Now I hear, and I see this probably daily from entrepreneurs, especially high achieving, very heart led women who care very deeply about their work. Because you don't wanna come across as pushy. You don't wanna come across as too much. You don't want people to unfollow you or think that you are always selling however.
This is here where the problem currently lies, and actually in every way, shape, or form I sell every single day. Sometimes it's in my content, in my stories, in my podcast, behind the scenes, [00:01:00] but I always sell. And that doesn't mean that I'm selling physical offers. Sometimes it might be pushing people to the podcast because I know that that's where I really can nurture my ideal clients.
Sometimes it's through the freebie, sometimes it's through emails. It doesn't have to be this hardcore selling every single day. However, I had to do a lot of work to be okay in doing that. And because I've rewired my subconscious to feel safe with visibility, to feel safe with selling, to feel safe, with receiving, to feel safe in charging the amount that I do, that's what my baseline is.
Selling doesn't feel like proving to me. Selling doesn't feel uncomfortable to me, it feels like power. And quite frankly, if you are not selling. You don't have a business, and I say this and I call my clients out on this all the time. When was the last time [00:02:00] you sold? When was the last time, and many of them are like maybe a week ago.
Your audience cannot guess. Your audience. You wanna train your audience that you sell, so they're literally waiting for you to sell the next thing. Actually so often I see this invisible weight people carry when they sell the pressure to prove it's worth it. The need to justify the price, the over-explaining everything to convince someone to buy.
And the truth is, is when you are selling from that place, you are not selling from power. You are selling from guilt, your guilt, the guilt around charging a high ticket, the guilt around receiving the guilt around being seen as too much. But that stops today because selling doesn't have to feel like proving.
It can feel like power. And we're gonna help you shift that [00:03:00] today. So I wanna get one thing straight before we start. This isn't. About not knowing how to sell. 'cause I know you know how to do that. It's not that you don't have a strategy. It's not that you haven't learned the steps, and it's certainly not that you are not capable.
What we're really talking about here is what your subconscious mind has linked selling to. So I want us to rewind for a second, because before you were a powerhouse woman running a business. You were a little girl. You were a little girl. Learning how to belong. And if you were taught to not ask for much, if you were praised for being quiet or kind, or agreeable or polite, if the moments that you were bold and ambitious and passionate were met with [00:04:00] comments like, don't get ahead of yourself.
That's a bit much. Who do you think you are? Get off your pedestal, Becky. Then of course, selling now feels sticky. I. Because selling isn't just about putting an offer out into the world, selling especially high ticket, and that is a lot what I do. It requires you to be visible, to be bold, to be unapologetic, to stand in your worth, to lead the conversation, to be the leader.
And if you are wired to believe that being too visible equals being too much or being too confident equals being too arrogant, or asking for more means being greedy, then what your brain hears in those moments isn't, well, this is just business. This is what we do in business. Your subconscious hears this isn't safe.
So every time [00:05:00] you lower your prices, you add more value to justify your worth. You stay quiet when a lead ghosts you, you apologize. It's not just a business move, it is a safety mechanism. It's your subconscious trying to protect you from rejection, from judgment, from shame, from being misunderstood. The exiles that your parts do not want you to feel.
It's doing the job it was programmed to do and it's doing it very fucking well. But actually, protection is not power, and safety is not leadership and hiding. It's not the path to scale your business, and if the version of you who's been rewarded your whole life for staying small is still running your sales, you will never feel safe to take up the space that your next level requires.
I. Because you don't need to be louder. You don't need to be more aggressive. You don't need to [00:06:00] overcompensate. You need to rewire the belief that being powerful means being unsafe. Because when your subconscious feel safe, being powerful, safe, being in that selling energy, you don't shrink. You don't over explain.
You don't second guess, you just sell. And that's where we want to start shifting from survival to self-leadership, from guilt to this confidence, from proving to power. So let's have a little look after I've got off my Ted Talk box, what it looks like in your business, because selling from proving is sometimes sneaky and it doesn't always look like desperation.
Sometimes with clients, it can look like perfectionism. Sometimes it looks like being generous. Sometimes it looks like, oh, I just wanna make this better. Add more things, be more, do [00:07:00] more. Absolutely trample my own boundaries to make sure my clients feel like they're really getting the money. And it's a subconscious fear that you are not enough unless you prove it.
So whether it's like, oh, I'm launching, but I've just added 72 new bonuses just in case it feels too, a little bit too high, or I've lowered that payment plan because I didn't want to think any, I didn't want to to, you know, be seen as greedy or. Let me spend two hours editing my sales page because it didn't sound convincing enough, or I didn't actually put a CTA on today's post or today's story because I just didn't wanna be too annoying.
I didn't wanna be too annoying. I've already done it once this week. Now none of those things are inherently bad. But they're not strategic tweaks, are they? If we really look at them for what they are, they're not strategic tweaks. They're [00:08:00] subconscious safety strategies. There are ways, they are ways. Your nervous system is avoiding those perceived threats because when you've been conditioned to tie your worth to your output, to your performance, to praise and validation.
Your brain links selling to a risk of failure, and that risk feels bigger than absolutely any potential reward. So unconsciously, you try to overcompensate, add more bonuses, drop the price, give more of your time, apologize before someone's even objected. In fact, make sure that you believe that you know what they're gonna object to so you don't fucking do it anyway.
The strategy looks busy. Of course it does, but it's not bold and you are still selling from a place of, I hope they pick me. I hope no one judges me. I hope this [00:09:00] is enough. I hope this happens for me. And that is not leadership, that is self abandonment, really in disguise. So strategy from self-doubt. Will never, ever out output outperform energy from self-trust strategy, from self-doubt, will never, ever outperform energy from self-trust.
And you can follow the same script as someone who's selling with subconscious certainty. But if you are energy behind it, is this begging of like, please say yes please. Let's do it. You will get wildly different results. Because your subconscious, the subconscious behind your sales shapes the results you create when you are regulated, when your subconscious feels safe to be seen, paid, chosen, when you've rewired your worth to be internal, not external, you [00:10:00] no longer will post to prove.
You post to serve, to activate, to lead with passion, and you start to notice this real subtle. Really subtle but powerful difference because your content becomes more magnetic. Your pricing feels neutral, not emotional. Your launches feel calm. This is why I launch when I'm on holiday in New York, even before the sales roll in.
And this is the difference between selling from survival versus selling from embodiment because the woman who sells effortlessly. Sometimes they're not louder. Sometimes they're not better at writing copy. They're not running faster. They've just made the internal shift. How do I hold this with certainty?
And that's what we want to rewire. That's the work, that's the power. So let me coach you through this. I want you to grab a little piece of paper, grab your [00:11:00] journal, grab a cup of tea, um, or come back to this later and pause here when you're ready. If you just wanna listen through the prompts. And these are a couple of prompts that I want you to sit with.
First things first. Where did I first learn that? Asking for more meant that I was greedy or I was selfish. What have I made that mean? Number two, when I was praised for being the good girl, when was it and how is that still showing up in how I sell? Number three, what would I need to believe about my work, about my worth to charge more and feel safe doing it?
And if this price reflected the transformation and not me, how would I show up differently? Lastly, what am I making it mean if someone says no? [00:12:00] And what if it didn't mean anything about me at all? I want you to work through these and really understand where these are coming from because this is where we start to go into the nooks of nooks and crannies of the subconscious.
This is where your entire business changes. Because selling from power isn't just about using the right language or having the perfect strategy. It's how your body feels when you sell. It's about how you hold your energy when nothing's come through. Yet it's about what you believe before you even open your mouth.
You are not spiraling after every ghosted dm. You are not obsessing over whether that Instagram post has landed. You are not tweaking your sales page whilst you're in bed at 12:00 AM You're not panicking when someone says, I'm not ready. Because you're not waiting for proof. It's working. You are the [00:13:00] fricking proof.
You are leading from a version of you that already knows it's landing, that the people are already coming. That's what that subconscious certainty gives you. So we need to create that internal safety to sell before it's sold, to believe, before it's confirmed to lead. Before the likes roll in, I want you to feel neutrality.
I want you to feel groundedness, conviction, detachment, and guess what? The people who are watching you, your ideal clients can feel it. Energy does not lie, and I know that you have experienced and felt the difference between being sold at and being sold to. And you know the difference between, I hope this works energy, and this is an absolute no brainer energy because one creates hesitation [00:14:00] and the other creates movement.
So what would shift? What would shift if you believed your offer was the most powerful thing they'd ever invested in? How would you show up if the sale was already done? How would you speak if you weren't trying to be convincing, but just clear? That's the energy of selling from subconscious power. You were never meant to build a business that runs on this overexplaining, discounting, proving, chasing you were meant to lead.
You were. I know it. So I want you to go through these questions, really understand what is currently holding you back from selling with power, from selling in general, from selling day to day. Selling with that subconscious certainty isn't just about feeling confident, [00:15:00] it's about reclaiming you. You don't need another bloody bonus.
You don't need the right copy. You just need you that fully anchored in your power and your offer. It is so powerful, so powerful. That is where we build a business where you lead with power and your audience feels it before you even speak. So go away and work on the journal prompts. I'm gonna pop them in the show notes as well, so you can work through and you don't have to, you know, write them all down and.
Funny about trying to find it. In the next episode, I'm gonna pop them in the show notes for you. And if you've been listening to this and thinking this is me, I, I've been selling from pressure, I've been trying to prove myself, you are not alone, you are not broken. You are just ready for a deeper way to lead.
You really are. I will see you in the next episode. I love you.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!