Sneaky NLP Techniques I Use on You Without You Noticing [ep. #235]

10 Jun

This episode will show you how your subconscious is being influenced in ways you didn't even realise. Let's tune in! It'll blow your mind!

Topics covered on NLP Techniques:

What’s really happening in your subconscious mind when I ask those seemingly casual questions?
Why do I so often use vague language when speaking to your subconscious mind?
What’s the misconception about NLP techniques that actually makes them more effective?
How am I using these NLP techniques on this very podcast without you noticing?
Which NLP techniques do clients love the most?
How can these NLP techniques help you grow your business and smash your goals?

Connect with Rebecca Haydon:

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The Subconscious Membership
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Resources mentioned in this episode:

NLP Waitlist

Related episodes you may enjoy:

Quote:

"When I coach, I'm not performing techniques on you like I'm a magician, pulling a rabbit out of a hat. I'm entering a conversation with your subconscious in a way that your subconscious says, okay, I trust this voice." - Rebecca Haydon

Transcription:

Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!

[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.

So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello, my gorgeous lady Anna. Welcome back to the subconscious expert I thought today in our NLP series Neurolinguistic Programming, baby, the launch is happening. We are in full swing, but. I had a very fun idea for today's podcast episode, and that is to draw back the curtain a little bit on techniques I use in coaching with my clients, in conversations with my [00:01:00] clients, and I actually use on the podcast.

So these are. Sneaky NLP techniques that you've probably benefited from without even bloody knowing it. So I'm kind of letting you in on my trade secrets as such, um, that really are rewiring your subconscious mind completely. On the sly. It's cheeky, it's a bit revealing today and honestly. It might just actually make you realize how I have been working on your subconscious mind this entire time, every Tuesday, every episode without you even noticing, which is usually what we want for the subconscious.

And I wanted to dive into a few of the NLP techniques I use inside a lot of my coaching sessions. Um, the ones that sound like we are literally just chatting about, um, your. Offers or why you hate launching so [00:02:00] much, but actually what they're doing is. Rewiring the belief systems that unlocking the breakthroughs and kind of opening your eyes to things that your brain didn't actually even know.

Were on the fricking menu. So if you've ever been in a podcast or been an experienced coaching with me, whether it's in the membership or even literally, you know, on a power up or anything like that. Where you've ever thought like, wait, hang on. How did I get here? Like, uh, two minutes ago I was trying to literally just talk about changing my bio and now I'm talking about how I don't feel good enough.

This one is for you. So where I actually wanted to start with. Today is NLP Neurolinguistic Programming. If you haven't heard of it before or you are very new to it, please go back to the podcast that went out last week. Um, and I explain everything about it on there. I'll tag it in the show [00:03:00] notes, but there is a big misconception with NLP.

Because it's not always obvious. And to be honest, that is the point. That is the whole point in it. And this con misconception is that it kind of only, um, works when it's labeled. So like, it's almost like we're in a coaching session together and now I'm like, right, this is NLP technique number seven, here we go.

But actually. The most powerful techniques with the subconscious mind don't feel like techniques. In fact, a lot of the time they are literal conversations, like throw away questions that. Sometimes can land so fricking deep for my clients, throw away questions that I ask on the podcast that can land so deep for you.

You know when you're kind of like on the walk and you're listening to your pod, listening to this podcast and you're like, oh my God, that has literally just [00:04:00] blown my mind and changed my whole way of thinking about things. That is not an accident. That is by design because your subconscious actually isn't ever really moved by logic.

It's moved by experience and your conscious mind, which is kind of the rational, the analytic. It's always kind of on the lookout for the how. How do I grow? How do I stop self-sabotaging? How do I make more money? All of the how questions that I know we love to ask your subconscious is actually scanning for something very different than that question your subconscious is asking like, is this safe?

Have we experienced this before? Like, what story do I already believe about this? And this is where the magic. Um, I should really say the methods comes in because when I [00:05:00] coach, when I am delivering content or when I'm in a coaching session, I'm not performing techniques on you. Like I'm a magician, pulling a rabbit out of a fricking hat, like I'm entering a conversation with your subconscious, and I'm layering language.

I'm layering metaphors. There's. Pacing, there's intonation, there's emotion in a way that your subconscious says, ha, okay, like, I know this rhythm. I trust this voice. I'll let this through and we can start moving through it and. It's kind of a little bit like slipping, um, like slipping a new belief past the bouncer at the club, right?

He thinks it's just another thought, like casually dressed, but here we are, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, slipping through like a whole new identity upgrade in disguise. So no, there is probably never a time [00:06:00] apart from timeline therapy. Where I say, okay, now we're gonna do an NLP intervention, because the moment that I do that, actually your conscious mind then tightens its grip.

I. And actually then you step in with the scrutiny, you start to watch, you start to analyze, you start to assess, and that will completely shift your brain state. It kind of moves you out of your subconscious being receptive, and it moves you into that realm of control. That's why a lot of people don't like hypnotherapy because it takes you think, you believe from what you've seen on, um.

Videos or are you gonna wave a watch in front of me and make me click like a chicken? You know, your conscious brain thinks it's not in control, but actually we want to have your subconscious be receptive. Like that is where the transformation happens and. Keeping you in that state, this kind of soft space between the [00:07:00] awareness and surrender where your nervous system feels safe enough to receive it or safe enough to hear it where you, you, you start to see that like the things that you didn't even know were running the show can rise.

It allows them to rise to the surface. And actually that's where. That's where the change begins. Like it's not in the steps, it's not in the strategies, but it's in the stories that you didn't know you were still living by. Like when I ask my clients, and it could be a, a question like literally a simple as, okay, um, what does success feel like in your body?

Now you might hear that as just like a really nice reflection, but I'm not just asking for a feeling. I'm testing for that, that congruency in you. I'm testing for that. Um, like unconscious telling. I am literally seeing [00:08:00] your internal world. Where do the blocks live? Where is the resistance hiding? Where is that kind of ready to open?

And I have so many clients say to me, fuck, I didn't even realize that was going on. And that's exactly the point because NLP done well, it doesn't shout, it doesn't kind of perform. It whispers to the part of you that's been running the show all along. And when. And if I've done my job right, you won't even realize what shifted.

You will just feel different. You will feel more you, you will feel more ready. You will feel more free. And and that is the whole point. That is the whole point. So I wanted to talk about a couple of modalities within NLP that I use. Um, and again, this might be whole new concepts to you. Maybe it's starting to pique your interest around [00:09:00] NLP and how you.

Can use that with your clients. If you want to have more information about coming an NLP practitioner, I would head to the show notes. I've got a wait list there for when the NLP School launches and if you wanna bring this in. And I think a lot of the time, what I really believe in is that you don't even have to be.

Like coining yourself, a mindset coach to have an NLP qualification. A lot of big corporate companies, sales, like there's a lot of people who are using NLP across the board, and I think for you to have a better understanding of your clients and a better way to communicate with them and get the best results, like having this in your tool belt is going to be.

Incredible. Absolutely incredible because nine times out of 10, with every client that I work with, it always comes down to mindset. And yes, you can add the strategy and you can you be the business strategist, but actually a lot of mindset will come into your work as well. [00:10:00] So let's talk about one of my favorite.

Tools, which is the Milton model, quite frankly, one of the hardest things, one of the hardest concepts in NLP that I had to get my head around. Now, the Milton model. Is named after Milton Erickson, and he is literally what they call the godfather of conversational hypnosis. It. He's incredible. He's absolutely incredible.

And this model that we use is kind of like whispering very directly to your subconscious in a way that you can't really ignore and mil a model. Uses very deliberately, very vague, very permissive, very open-ended, confusing language, which is why when I'm teaching Milton model and when I learned Milton model back in 2019, I was like, what [00:11:00] the hell?

And that's how you probably should feel. Um, the reason why this really works is because when something is so. Um, so vague, so permissive. Your subconscious has to fill in the blanks and actually what happens in that is it's a lot of the time can reveal beliefs. It can begin to rewire, like rewrite them, rewire them.

And really start to change how you are seeing things. So let me give you a bit of an example. So instead of me saying in a coaching call, um, right Becky, you are gonna feel more confident after this call. You hear that, you hear the logic of it, your subconscious mind probably goes, yeah. Right. Um, there's a, there's a lot going on there.

Right. But it's very logical, it's very understanding. I might say, as you continue listening, perhaps you'll start to notice a shift [00:12:00] beginning in a way that makes sense for you. It sounds woo, right, it sounds, sounds a little bit on the woowoo side, but actually it is pure neuroscience and actually the vagueness in that, and this is like one of the Milton model.

There's a lot of Milton models. Um, the vagueness kind of invites your subconscious to search for a new meaning. And make that meaning. And in that search, what your subconscious is literally doing is updating itself. So it's beginning that new neural pathway, one that's actually based on possibility instead of going back to your evidence from the past and really starting to kind of flesh that out.

The other thing in this model. Uh, which I use a lot in my coaching, uh, with my clients, is embedded commands. And I am sneakily to your subconscious suggesting an action or a change or an identity upgrade with a bit of a longer sentence. So [00:13:00] as you sit with this podcast episode, you might find yourself already beginning to step into that next version of you.

You see what I did there? Literally telling your subconscious to step forward. And it listened because it tucked it in where your subconscious mind could not squat. Like squat. It could not squat it away. Like it's not like, wait, hang on, what? And it's already in. It's already in. And the moment that you leave a session and you can't quite explain why you feel different, usually that is Milton model.

Next one I wanna talk about is pattern interrupts. AKA clients, why I call you out when you're in a mid meltdown. And probably one of my favorite, favorite coaching power moves is a pattern interrupt because your brain loves a pattern, loves a pattern. And I've talked about patterns and spirals and a lot on the podcast before.

Um. But your [00:14:00] brain loves patterns even when they are completely unhelpful. So for example, well every time I launch I spiral. Or if no one signs up by day two, that means I'm failing, or I will always burn out when I try to scale. And these are literal neural loops, these stories that your subconscious clings onto because they feel familiar.

And we know if you've been around this podcast for a long dime, familiar equals safe. Even if they're stuck. And my job is to break the bloody loop, to interrupt the pattern, give you a little shake before you reinforce it for the 700th 96th time. And. How do I do that through any way possible? A lot of the time I will ask something completely unrelated.[00:15:00]

Um. I'm just trying to think of an example off my head. Like we could be mid, mid chatting in WhatsApp with my clients and I'm like, wait, what did you eat for breakfast today? And then you'll be like, wait, what? Or um, I literally, the other day called one of my clients in, she was having, she was mid meltdown and I called her, never called a client outside of session before in my life.

Um, like our sessions are in the diary. We show up on Zoom, that's our session. And I called her. And she was like, hello. And just me doing that action allowed her. To change the state, break the state, change the pattern. Um, and we can do this all the time. I always use the, um, example of me in a chicken outfit.

If you've gone far back in the podcast archive. Um. When I talk about break state, I usually say like, imagine that you are in one of your [00:16:00] spirals and I run into the room in a chicken outfit. You would be like, what the hell is going on? Like, why is Becky here? How does she know where I live and why is she in a fricking chicken outfit?

It completely breaks the pattern, and that's what we want to do. Other times I will pull my clients up gently. But firmly, gently, but firmly. That's how I roll. Um, where we kind of truth bomb, where we reframe, where we use kind of like a pattern interrupt from like a, a nerve, a nervous system alert, but a listening kind of lens.

And what I'm doing when I do this is I'm actually triggering your reticular activated system, your Raz. And that part of your brain that filters what to pay attention to because your RA has gone down the kind of paying attention to the spiral that you're in, but all of a sudden, boom, Becky's there in a chicken outfit.

It's like, Hey, something fricking new and [00:17:00] weird is happening here. I need to pay attention. And when I do this regularly, which I do in WhatsApp very, very often with my clients, your brain begins to rewire faster. So it will stop defaulting to, um, the fear of failure pattern and it will start anchoring to the new possibilities, the new language, the new outcomes.

And I'm not usually just being cheeky or sending you a gif and making you laugh. I'm actually doing it for an actual reason. It is deliberate subconscious recalibration. And you will be shocked, like shocked how often it works in under. I would say 60 seconds, like how quickly I can shift a state of my clients and the bounce back ability of them going, okay, cool.

Yeah, moved on, done. We've had a look, we've shifted the state and we are moving. That's what we want. We wanna be able to get out of these states quicker. The next thing I wanted to talk about is anchoring and um, [00:18:00] one of the, I think this is such a powerful tool in NLP and to be honest. You have been anchoring a lot.

Throughout your life. So there might be a particular smell that you've smelled, um, that you smelled, or you know, someone walks past you and their perfume hits you and you're like, oh my God, that takes me back to insert when it takes you back to, or you might hear a song on the radio and you are.

Automatically transcended to the time where you were dancing to that song with a friend when you were seven years old. There's a lot of anchors that we anchor our whole life, and it you, it works very, very similarly in NLP and. We want to link in anchoring a specific internal state to a specific external trigger.

So whether it's a word, whether it's a touch, whether it's a gesture, a piece of [00:19:00] music, um, a smell. A taste, a sound, whatever it is. Your subconscious loves anchors. It will use them all the time. Like I said, you've been doing it, you've literally been doing it since you were little. Um, like there's certain perfumes or certain aftershaves, blue jeans is one of them.

That I smell and I'm literally, it literally makes me feel sick. 'cause it takes me back to B Tech Times when I was 16 trying to get with the guy who wore that perfume. And I'm literally like, oh God, no, I can't smell that. But you know what I mean? Like it takes you back to that such a specific time and that is anchoring at work.

It's literally your brain saying. When this happens, we feel this. So in coaching, I will create positive anchors for you on purpose. And one of the biggest ways I do this is with color. So [00:20:00] if you've ever worked with me and you're like, why is she asking me about this color? Or Get to search for color, this is why it's an anchor to take you back to the time that we've just worked on to anchor you back into that feeling.

And I don't say like. Okay, Rebecca, like now we are creating an anchor. It kind of ruins the magic, but by pairing this kind of like new, empowered, emotional state with a phrase or a moment or a gesture or a song. And trust me, I've been in sessions with clients and I'm like, what song is coming to your mind?

And they say the song, and I'll literally get it up on Spotify and we'll dance there and then. It's really kind of embedding this new state. And over time those anchors, the more we use them, the more we, um, build them will fire automatically. So you can feel really calm when you breathe in deeply on a launch day or when you play a certain song or feel real certainty when you see a color and you can tap in.

It's [00:21:00] so powerful. Anchor in and when it's done right. It really can shift identities because it's with you all the time. It's not just, you know, me on WhatsApp as you're checking in with me or on a call, like it's with you day to day, you know? And anchor in weirdly was the very first thing that I spoke about when I launched my blog, you know, way back in 2018.

That's the whole, that was the whole catalyst of me. Getting to where I am now is 'cause I blogged about things that I learned about when I was in the performing arts industry. And one of the very first things that I learned about when I was working with a life coach at the time was the color, you know, anchor in a color and my color for years and years and years, and pretty much still is now is yellow.

And every time I see yellow. I feel a certain way and I can anchor in a certain feeling. And that has lived with me since 2018. Uh, no. What would that have been? No, I talked about it in 2018. I must have done the session around 2012 [00:22:00] and yellow had like been my color for so many years. 'cause we anchored it in so deeply.

So yeah, just powerful, powerful, powerful, powerful. I told you, I'm letting in, letting you in on some of my secrets. Um, and now hopefully my clients don't listen to this and go, ah, I'm not gonna listen to you next time you say that. But I'm not letting you all, uh, in, on all of the secrets, but just some powerful, powerful things where you can see, um, where we can see kind of like.

The shift. The next one that I wanted to talk about is timeline. Um, I can't have a podcast like this without talking about timeline because quite frankly, timeline is an NLP technique and it is my favorite, one of my favorites that Irene, I've talked about a lot of my favorites already, but it, I really see such huge, profound shifts in timeline and you know, sometimes.

I will announce that we're going into timeline. Um, but a lot of the time I'm doing it [00:23:00] kind of in the moment as well. Like, I'm doing it with you. I am doing it in a conversation with you and your subconscious is really like Google Drive it. It saves everything. Do you remember when you used to like have to.

Click save on your documents on Word all the time, and now you don't have to. 'cause it automatically saves everything. Your Google Drive, that's your subconscious, like even the stuff you thought you'd archived in 2007, it'll be there. It'll absolutely be there. And this. A health and a hindrance because it holds onto a lot of things.

Your subconscious and it will go and search it. It will go and find it when you're going through a certain experience or a certain way of doing things, but. Uh, when you're doing that, your subconscious is creating meanings out of all of those moments. [00:24:00] So your subconscious is literally timestamping emotional experiences, and it timestamps them as evidence of who you are, what is safe, and what to expect in any given moment.

So when we go back, when we update those memories. We don't erase them in timeline therapy. We're not erasing the memory ever. We're actually adding, um, creating a reinterpretation of it from who you are now. And that means that your subconscious can create a new meaning, and that's what timeline work does.

So. A lot of the time when we go in to timeline, we go in with a belief and actually my client can see it for what it truly is now, and they're able to understand why they took that belief on why they feel the way that they did what was said that made them feel that way. And then we can look at it quite logically.

We [00:25:00] can look at it from a kind of higher self perspective or from the perspective that they are now and without even realizing it. That present identity that they're with in front of me goes back into the past, understands it, rewires it, and then catches up. And it's literally kind of this neurological imprint that we create.

And that's how I. Especially with timeline, we can create this deep lasting transformation without actually reliving any of the trauma. And we do look at it and we do go in, we stay disassociated and we speak to the younger version of you inside it. But actually it allows us to not sit in it, which I get so many comments from a lot of my clients, especially if they've had experiences.

Um. You know, with therapy or, um, kind of talking therapy and I, and honestly, there is a definite place and a time for therapy and any sort of therapy, and I've done therapy myself. Um, [00:26:00] but what timeline therapy does I. Is allows us to yes, have a look at it, not keep talking about it, and not keep sitting in it, but have a look at it, take and draw the positive learnings from it and move forwards.

And I think like that's really helpful, especially if you have been through trauma or there has been times in your life that you, you almost don't wanna have a look at. We can, we can see it from a bird's eye view and take such powerful things from it. So honestly. The the work that I do, and I think the reason why I still love it to this day is because it just feels magic.

Like any client at any time in any session, it can feel like pure. Magic to me and to the client, to be honest. And a lot of my clients will, will be like, I don't even know what happened. I'm not even sure what you just did, but I feel different. I feel lighter. I started to see the [00:27:00] changes and that's because we are working kind of beneath.

Surface. We are below the conscious mind. We're kind of in where those stories lived. We're in the space where your identity, your behavior, your safety lives, and we are shifting the neural pathways. We're regulating your nervous system and really kind of replacing those outdated survival strategies with updated subconscious safety.

And I literally do that through language, which is neurolinguistics the language through the emotion and the presence. And your brain doesn't fight it, it absorbs it. And a lot of the time, subconscious work is never about trying harder. Like it's literally about recoding what you believe to be true Now.

What you believe to be true now. So if you have listened to this podcast episode and you're like, hang on a minute, [00:28:00] like if I've had these kind of shifts without even knowing what would, what was happening, like what would happen if I knew how to do this for others? This is the whole point of the NLP score.

I'm really not. Launching just an NLP certification. I'm launching a new way of coaching, a new way of leading, a new way of doing this, and one that kind of honors the subconscious, but teaches you the tools, anchors in the identity, and really gives you more depth with your clients as well. So if you're feeling the pull, if you wanna even just have a bit more information or a conversation with me about NLP.

Don't ignore it. Come and chat. Um, I've popped the wait list down below. If you wanna jump on the wait list for when the first cohort goes out. Um, hopefully this episode has given you a few light bulb moments. Um, I. This isn't just learning NLP, it's literally learning how [00:29:00] to lead and run a business and coach and support your clients in a way that actually works because it's literally rooted in the subconscious from the very first sentence that I said.

Um, I hope you've enjoyed today's episode, a little bit of a different one, and I will see you in the next. Love ya. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that Juicy five Star rating.

These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon, and for the full show notes and more resources. Head over to Rebecca Haydon dot com. I'll see you there.

More about The Subconscious Expert:

Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!

Rebecca Haydon