Finding the Balance Between Gratitude and Ambition: Where You Are vs Where You Are Going [ep.129]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self and I!
Finding the balance between gratitude and ambition is a challenge that many of my clients, myself included, struggle with. I remember how I used to tell myself, "When I make X amount of money, then I'll finally be happy and enjoy my life." Yeah, sure!
As soon as you reach the amount of money in your bank account, the number of clients in your business, or the number of people signing up for your freebie, you'll move on to chasing an even bigger goal. Eventually, you'll reach a point where you feel like you're doing something wrong because no matter what goal you achieve, it never feels enough. It becomes this constant loop of never feeling satisfied and always wanting more.
That's why in today's podcast episode, I want to help you to find the balance between gratitude and ambition! Instead of being impatient and focusing on "where you are not," I want you to look at "everything you have achieved" over the last couple of months. Join me as I talk about why gratitude is so important in your life, a gratitude exercise that will help you appreciate the present moment, how to release the pressure of "shoulds," and more!
Topics covered on The Balance Between Gratitude and Ambition:
How to find the balance between being content with your current life and still having the drive for future goals?
The constant loop of never feeling satisfied and always wanting more.
My personal experience of constantly striving for the next bigger goal while feeling unfulfilled.
Why is gratitude so important in your life and business?
A gratitude exercise to boost your confidence in tackling new, bigger goals.
How neutrality towards your dream life allows you to manifest your dreams.
Releasing the pressure of where you believe you "should" be by now.
A story of my client who was so focused on financial goals that she forgot to enjoy the journey.
Why it's crucial to remain open to new possibilities and recalibrate our ambitions.
Embracing the balance between gratitude and ambition.
Quote:
“Remember being in the present, being in the here, and being in the now doesn't diminish your desire for growth. It actually enhances it.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Welcome to The Higher Self and I your go-to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one-way ticket towards the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and your business. I'm your host, Rebecca Hayden Mindset and business mentor ready to help. You unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass, c e o, who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing. Let's go baby. Hello. Hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to Higher Self and I, I am so pleased to be in your ears this beautiful day, whatever day you're listening to this podcast episode.
[00:01:01] And I wanted to bring this to the podcast today because it is something that comes up with my clients all of the time. And that is the balance between meeting yourself where you are at right now and being grateful and content for your life right now, and still having that burning ambition and drive, and absolute wanting for the life of your dreams.
[00:01:29] And it's this absolute polarity that sometimes gets our nickers in a twist because we want to have that focus on the ambition, that burning flame within us that kind of propels us forwards. The the ambition to create the life of our dreams and to get there, and to be there and to have that, but equally to be like, okay.
[00:01:55] It's actually okay where I am right now and look at all the things that I've achieved and look at all the things that I've done and wow, look at where I am versus me six months ago, 12 months ago, three years ago, and actually have that polarity in it being okay to have both being okay and being content and grateful for where you are at, knowing that you are not settling for that.
[00:02:21] Knowing that you are still working towards your goals and your dreams and moving into that, but you're still okay here. And I think sometimes we can get stuck in the, it's never enough. And I certainly certainly fell into that. You know, I've hit goals that I have been wanting to and craving to and dreaming about.
[00:02:48] And I'm like, okay, what's, what's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? And we are onto the next because we are such high achievers and we want the next big thing. And we are n never, ever satisfied as [00:03:00] humans. And this is why I always say to my clients, you know, You, you, you keep telling me that things are gonna change when you get there and you keep telling me that you're gonna feel differently when you get there.
[00:03:10] And you keep telling me that life's gonna look different when you get there, but I promise you when you get there, there's gonna be something else that you are gonna be moving towards and you will just be on this constant loop. And this is really where I started to see the constant loop happening with myself, because I'd get to the point and I'd be like, well, Well, that's not good enough anymore, is it that that amount of money in my bank account, well, that's not good enough anymore.
[00:03:33] Is it that amount of clients in the business? Well, that's not good enough anymore. Is it that amount of people signing up to a freebie? Well, that's not good enough now, is it? You know, it never was enough, and it was happening so often that it started to make me feel like I was doing something wrong. It started to make me feel that I wasn't doing enough.
[00:03:55] I wasn't being enough, I wasn't working enough. All this enoughness coming in because I just wasn't stopping and freaking enjoying what I was doing. I wasn't enjoying the journey. I wasn't enjoying moving towards that dream, that that reality, that I want to bring it in. And we very, very quickly get used to the things around us.
[00:04:16] You know, the things change, and then you are in that life and you're like, wow, okay, if I actually stopped and looked back, things look very differently now. But now it's become my new. Normal, and this is what starts to happen, and I wanted to let you know the conversations that I've had with clients when this has happened, and let you know what we've worked through in order for them to have the balance between being content and grateful and enjoying the journey right now and still having the ambition because you can have both.
[00:04:48] They are not separate. They don't come one or the other. We can. Almost run them as parallel. And to be honest, when we have this interplay between gratitude and ambition, it starts to propel us forwards even quicker. Anyway. And I know that's not what we're talking about right now. However, when you start to open your eyes to what you already have around you, you know what we say about gratitude all the time.
[00:05:18] Like when we actually see and open our eyes and go Fucking hell, like, yes, I have done that, or I have achieved that. It starts to change your energy anyway, rather than being in this constant. It's not enough. I haven't done enough. I need to learn more. I need to do more. I need to be more. So I want you to just for a moment, take a little breath.
[00:05:45] And in that breath, I just want you to have a look around you right now. And this can be physically having, having a look around you, whether it's the house that you are in right now, whether it's the kitchen. I know some of you listen to me in the shower. [00:06:00] I know some of you listen to me on walks or in the car, and I just want you to think of a few things that look very differently for you in your life.
[00:06:13] Now versus however many years ago, you want to reflect from. What does that look like and how does that feel knowing that a couple of things that you were craving to feel or to think or to do, or to be or to have are now in your reality? And they've been that much in your reality, that you've come subconsciously competent with it, that you forgot that you've actually bloody done it, that you've forgot that you've actually achieved it, that you forgot that it's actually yours right now.
[00:06:50] And I want you to feel so unbelievably present right now. So unbelievably present right now, and just thank yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back or give yourself a hug. I, I love doing that, giving myself a hug. Sometimes it feels so good, and just go, look what we've done. Look what we've done. What are you grateful for right now in this moment?
[00:07:19] What are those small victories? The people around you, the opportunities that you've come your way? Remember being in the present, being in the here, and being in the now doesn't diminish your desire for growth. It actually enhances it. And actually by acknowledging what we've achieved, And taking the time out to see what we've achieved, we gain almost a deeper sense of fulfillment and a deeper sense of perspective.
[00:07:49] And actually what it does is it creates more freaking evidence for confidence to tackle the new aspirations because you are, you are reminding your subconscious, Hey, Look what we've freaking done. Like we've done this, like I've been wrapped up in this place. I've been wrapped up in this time. I've been wrapped up in these feelings of not being at my goal yet, but oh my God, look what I've actually done.
[00:08:17] Like, look at all this evidence. Now, if you need to create an. Evidence Bank for yourself, please do. This is something that I talk about with my clients so very much. When we are building the neural pathways, when we have created a new belief, a new story, new habits, we need to create evidence within the subconscious mind and the ra, the reticular activated system to make sure that the subconscious knows all of the evidence to believe that new belief to be true.
[00:08:48] Remember your old beliefs. You were very good at finding things to prove that to be true. So now with our new beliefs, we need to be very good at finding things to prove that one to be true. It's exactly the same, [00:09:00] and actually when you have that moment, when you really bring in that reflection piece, That just opens your eyes to actually what you've achieved.
[00:09:11] Now I do this. This is something that you can do. I actually go back on my archived stories and I have a look at what I was doing, whether it's a year ago to this day or six months ago. To this day, you know how almost Facebook or Instagram remind you what you've been posting or your bloody Facebook memories, which are the.
[00:09:31] Most embarrassing things I ever read. To be honest. Going back 13 years ago on my Facebook memories is horrendous. Um, however, it's that beautiful moment where you look and you go, oh my goodness. Like, wow. It could be the tiniest things. You don't have to have achieved the. This huge milestones, these big milestones.
[00:09:53] Maybe you have and you've forgotten about them, but what are you doing differently now? How are you showing up differently for yourself, for your business, for your health, for your finances? What have changed? And, and look, if there's still gaps missing, that's okay because we're gonna talk about that.
[00:10:09] We're gonna talk about the ambition to move forwards, the hunger for your personal and your. Business and your professional growth too, and having that ambition that pushes us beyond our comfort zone. But actually, I just wanted to take a moment today to go, you know what? Look how far I've come and I have to really make sure that I remind my clients.
[00:10:33] In this, because I speak so often about neutrality and there's a lot of people that ask me questions about neutrality and becoming neutral to the life that you are creating Now, this is incredible because the more neutral we are and the more we believe it's ours before it's happened, through the feelings in our body, the easier it is to get to us.
[00:10:53] However, what I do see, It's because you've made it so neutral because you've made it so okay to feel and to have that amount of money or clients or success. When you get it, you're like, oh, okay, well yeah, I've already got it. So you know, I already believe that I got it. Now it's here. Whoop, do, do, let's move on.
[00:11:14] And actually, sometimes the neutrality around what we create, which is what allows us to bring it in, can sometimes. Detriment us actually going, look what I've achieved. Look what I've done. Look what's happened. Look at how many people I'm holding space for. Look at how I show up on social media differently.
[00:11:35] Now. Look at how I write content differently. Now look at me doing my podcast. Look at me selling every single day. Look at me being organized. All of these things happen when my clients work with me one-to-one. And actually what happens is we create such neutrality around it that they get there and they're like, oh, right, well I'm already doing that anyway, Beck.
[00:11:56] So let's move on to the next. And we don't have that [00:12:00] time. So I want you to really, really stop and think today. Everything that you do, every, every move that you make, every thought that you think, every breath that you breathe, just have a reflection on. You a year ago, two years ago, three years ago. My God, if I even have a look at a year ago, you know, I was just leaving to come back to the UK this time last year.
[00:12:26] I could write a book about the last year. But you know, things have absolutely shifted and yes, they weren't in my dreams and goals to, for that to happen, but that's life and I, I absolutely rode that wave and. By God, I am the happiest I've ever been in my business and my relationships and the love I feel for Jack and just everything that happened, albeit was really freaking hard.
[00:12:52] But just for me to reflect back on that. It's that moment of gone like, Peck, look what we've achieved. Look what we've achieved through this. So that's what I want you to do. First of all, that is kind of sitting in the contentment and sitting in the gratitude of where you are and what you've already achieved and what feels so natural to you right now that did not feel natural a year ago.
[00:13:16] That did not feel natural six months ago that did not feel natural one month ago. You know, sometimes we can have these big, huge shifts very, very quickly, these quantum leaps as we, as we say, and you almost forget. Hang on a minute. Like one month ago I didn't have this, this, and this. I didn't have this amount of money in my bank account.
[00:13:35] I didn't have this, you know, whatever that is for you, whatever, uh, reflection you want to take right now, really having a look at that. And then on the flip side, with the ambition with bringing in that, the catalyst that drives. And fuels our dreams and compels us to set new goals and inspires us to push beyond our comfort zone and strive for excellence and leave that lasting impact on the world.
[00:14:03] We need to make sure that, yes, we're still working towards that, but we can coexist. Harmoniously, you know, it can coexist together because when we approach your ambition, when we approach your goals from a place of real gratitude and neutrality with where you are too, we infuse that. With a sense of purpose and appreciation because it's no longer coming from a place of push, and I have to be there because I'm not good enough right now and my life's not good enough right now, and what I've done so far isn't good enough right now.
[00:14:38] It's coming from the place of holy. Ship balls, look what I've achieved so far, and wow, look what I'm about to go on and achieve. And it really does decrease the pressure in where you believe you should be. And that is something that comes up time and time again. I should be further along. I should be making more money.
[00:14:59] I should have [00:15:00] more clients. I should know more. All of these bullshit shoulds that come up within the business, within your business or within your life or within the industry. And actually just going like, okay, like this is where I'm at. I'm meeting myself where I'm at. This is where I'm at right now. And having that full gratitude for what you've achieved, but knowing that this space, To, to change the things that haven't changed yet.
[00:15:24] And that's okay. Like that is absolutely okay. And one of the things that I talk to with my clients a lot when it comes to this and kind of having that ambition to move forwards and achieve your goals is enjoying the journey. And I know it is the most freaking cliche thing that is said in the self-development world, but it happens time and time again.
[00:15:47] And it was actually. The reflection back from my clients that was making me go, look, oh my God, I can see what you've achieved. We are now here, and now you're telling me it's not good enough and now you're telling me you want more and you are not enjoying this at all. You are not enjoying the journey at all.
[00:16:05] And it made me really reflect on how, you know, I always look for the next thing that I wanna work on, the next thing that I want to be or to do or to have. And it was making me not stop and just enjoy. Life, like we only have this one time opportunity. And actually I was striving so hard for that thing that I thought was gonna change my fricking life, that I forgot to enjoy the things around me.
[00:16:31] I forgot to enjoy the day-to-day ins and outs of my life. And this is when it becomes really, really important because if we make it more about the journey and enjoying the journey and enjoying the. UPS and enjoying the downs, you know, to an extent. You know, having those downs and having those moments of lessons and learnings and things that you can take away from and whatever else that is for you, that's when we start moving to our goals very quickly anyway, because we're not putting so much pressure on what that's going to bring when I get.
[00:17:05] X I will feel y when I have y I will feel Zed. You know, all of these things that you pinpoint your goals to be on. You know, we so often, me and my client has just, we've just had a conversation about this, that she was so hung up on the 10 K months that nothing was ever good enough. And we had a session and she was like, Beck, like if, if the May now.
[00:17:32] If the me before saw the me, now, she would literally be falling over at what she's achieving now. This is all she's ever wanted. However, now I'm here and I haven't got 10 K months. It means that I'm not good enough. Like this is the story I'm putting on myself because of it. And actually what was happening is she was constantly striving for this 10 K months.
[00:17:51] 10 K month. Oh, that's what it's gotta be. You've gotta like, she was so hung up on what that meant for her. She actually [00:18:00] messaged me and she was like, I've got money in the bank. I am loving my life. I'm going to the gym. Like things have changed. And just because she hasn't got the 10 K months, it means that her life wasn't good enough and that was what she was holding onto.
[00:18:12] And I think like enjoying the journey and enjoying the being and enjoying who you are becoming and enjoying everything around you. And I know it's not always enjoyable and I know that the deep conscious. And subconscious mindset work isn't enjoyable, and it's quite hard to look at sometimes, but when we actually go, you know what?
[00:18:33] Like I'm never gonna reach the destination, and I say this all the time, you'll never reach your destination because when you reach your destination, there's gonna be a new fucking destination for you to reach. And that's just how we are. You know, we are never going to be satisfied. And whether that's my own belief and whether you wanna repel against that, I don't mind.
[00:18:54] But every time anyone has achieved a goal, you are onto the next goal. You know, if you achieve a marathon, you're like, okay, well how, how, what? What's next to run? You achieve a weight loss goal and you're like, well, still not enough. Now I'm really enjoying this. I'm gonna work on this. You never get to the one goal and you're like, right, I'm going to sit down for the rest of my life and this is where I'm going to stay.
[00:19:20] I don't know one person that that's happened to. And if you do, please let me know. But I do not know one person who has achieved a goal that they've been working towards, and they sit down and that is it for the rest of their life. They don't work on anything else. The end. So if we know that, and consciously you know that as you're listening to me, you're like, Beck, yes, that makes fricking sense.
[00:19:39] I do know that consciously. So if we know that by the time we've achieved our next goal, there's gonna be a next goal to work on, why don't we just really freaking enjoy ourselves? Why don't we just enjoy getting there and then enjoy getting to the next, and then enjoy getting to the next, and that's where that ambition becomes less pressure full, if that's a word, becomes less pressure full because you're going, well, yeah, brilliant.
[00:20:03] Like I get to enjoy this and when I get there, I'm sure there's gonna be something else I wanna work towards. So let's enjoy it all the way, because I know that I get to create the feelings that I think this thing is gonna give me right now. And actually I know that when I get there, that's gonna feel quite neutral to me.
[00:20:20] And then I'll wanna work on something else. So I might as well enjoy myself today. So that's what I wanted to talk through today. You know, as we grow and as we evolve, our aspirations change, our life changes, and it's so crucial to remain open to new possibilities and recalibrate our ambitions. Just like I was saying, you know, one year ago.
[00:20:45] My life and my ambitions, and pretty much the rest of my life looked very, very different to what it looks now. Now, if I held on to that ambition, I would've, I wouldn't have made the decisions that I did to have the happiness that I have [00:21:00] now, and that. That happiness is way more important than the ambitions that I had for my business in Australia.
[00:21:07] So just bringing that introspective practice, bringing it back to yourself, embracing the balance between gratitude and ambition, and actually having a dance with both of them having a dance. That, that, that shapes our life. You know, the gratitude and opening your eyes and being present to what you've already achieved.
[00:21:27] That enriches us in the here and now, and we only have the here and now. The past is a mystery, no, what is it? The past. I dunno, I'm gonna butcher this quote, so I'm not even gonna try. But the past is gone. The past has passed, and the future is yours to write. So actually, we're in the present and now, now, now is the only moment that we have.
[00:21:47] So really make sure that you are embracing both and you will find yourself in a state of constant growth and it will be fueled by the ambition that you have and it will be fueled by, um, The, the, the drive that you have for your life and for your business, but it also will be fueled by enjoyment. And you being in the here and now and you going, wow, like I just get to live life.
[00:22:14] And that's good. Like, that's good for me right here, right now. So I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode. I will see you on the next one. And remember, You can have both. You can be okay and meet yourself where you are at right now or not be okay and meet yourself where you're at right now and still have that ambition and drive.
[00:22:34] I love you lots, and I'll see you on the next episode. Your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast. So if you have enjoyed the episode today, please make sure that you are sharing. Or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear rolls. Now, if we are not connected on Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Hayden underscore.
[00:23:02] Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!