7 Messy Signs You're Upleveling (When Success Feels Like Failure) [ep. #238]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you in the middle of your launch feeling like you want to burn it all down? Don't light the match yet! It might be one of the signs you're uplevelling.
In today's episode, I'm talking about what's really happening in your subconscious when everything feels foggy, overwhelming, and off-track. The truth is, sometimes the most uncomfortable moments are actually proof that you're expanding beyond your comfort zone. So, if you've been showing up, doing the work, challenging yourself, and suddenly everything feels misaligned - congratulations! You're likely in the midst of a powerful uplevel.
Join me as I walk you through the seven distinct signs that show you're growing even when it feels like failing, and how to tell the difference between true sabotage and necessary shifts. I'll share micro-subconscious actions that will help you stay anchored while moving through this challenging but necessary phase of growth. Don't abandon that version of you that's trying to lead right now - she's here, even if you cannot fully see her yet.
Topics covered on Signs You’re Upleveling:
Why might sudden inner chaos actually be a sign of your biggest business breakthrough yet?
What is a neural mismatch, and how is it affecting your business?
What are the seven signs you’re uplevelling?
This is how you spot if you’re self-sabotaging or genuinely shifting your identity.
What to do next when you notice signs you’re uplevelling?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"Upleveling often looks like going backwards until it doesn't." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello, my beautiful lady Anna. Welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. Today I am showing you. I am peeling back the curtain of the signs that you are actually upleveling. That don't look like success yet because quite frankly, that's what it looks like.
And if you have been showing up, if you've been doing the God work, [00:01:00] if you have been challenging yourself and stretching yourself into a new level of yourself. Or of your business or of yourself in your business, and then suddenly you cannot see a thing. Everything feels fog, foggy, everything feels off.
Everything is absolutely not working the way it used to. What I want you to know is that you are probably in a moment of up level. And you are probably in the moment of an uplevel where it doesn't feel like success yet. And I always say that upleveling often looks like going backwards until it doesn't.
And in today's episode, I want to walk you through that. So I wanted to start with actually kind of naming. Why upleveling can [00:02:00] feel like absolute inner chaos. Inner chaos. Now, if you have been listening to the podcast for a while, or if you're new here, hello, I'm loving having you here. What I always say is your subconscious mind does not care about your next income goal.
It doesn't care how many people watch your stories. It doesn't care how brilliantly mapped out your offer is on your Google documents. It cares about keeping you safe. And actually this is where it gets a little bit interesting. You obviously consciously, logically want your next level, right? It makes sense on paper, it makes sense in your visualizations.
It makes sense when you go, yes, that's gonna give me the life I want. More clients, more sales, more visibility, more. Insert what you want, but if your subconscious doesn't feel safe with that success, it [00:03:00] will very quietly and oh so very efficiently sabotage it. And it's what we call a neural. Mismatch, and that is when your conscious mind is reaching forwards.
It knows where it's going. The logic's there. We've got all the things, but your subconscious mind is holding so tight to your past. To your stories, to your beliefs, to all the things you've known to be true to your identity, to your whole life. That it won't loosen the grip, it will not loosen the grip.
Now imagine your subconscious is almost like a thermostat. Like let's just kind of say when you turn the heating on in your house, the thermostat dial in your house, right? We usually have, especially if you're in the uk, [00:04:00] it programmed to be a very comfortable, familiar temperature, let's say 19 degrees right now.
Suddenly you decide you want more heat. You set a big goal. You increase your prices, you put yourself out there like never before. You've started to do content in a different way, or show up on stories in a different way, and you crank the goddamn dial up to 32 degrees. What does the subconscious do? It doesn't celebrate.
It fricking panics. It turns on the air con full blast to bring you down to what's familiar, the 19 degrees and. It's protecting you. It's protecting you based on these outdated settings that are currently lodged in your subconscious hard drive, and that is the neural mismatch. It's when the identity that you are stepping into hasn't been normalized in your subconscious.
Yet, [00:05:00] and actually it could feel very normal in the external world and you could be doing lots of visual things in your environment or in your visualizations, but it hasn't been normalized in your subconscious yet. And usually when I kind of see this the most in business, it is kind of the mid-launch spiral.
Even though the strategy was solid underneath you, or you delay doing content in a certain way, even though you said right now it, this, this year is the year that I truly am seeing or. You feel like you want to go and run and hide when you raise your prices and then the next person you talk to, you crack a zero off and go, yes, yes.
It's always been that way. Um, or you hit a big month and then suddenly you fall off the face of the earth. Right? This isn't. This isn't a collection of signs that you are not [00:06:00] good enough, that you're not cut out for it, et cetera. It's a sign that you're expanding, but it's a sign that you're expanding faster than your nervous system has actually caught up with.
So here are seven signs that I see that you are upleveling, but it doesn't feel like it yet. And actually it might make you feel a little bit. Calmer about currently what you're going through. So the first one I see is that you are suddenly confused about everything. Like you literally reflect back on last week and the offer felt aligned.
The way you were showing up felt aligned, the clients felt amazing. And now this week you questioning your niche, you questioning your price, you question in your entire business, you questioning your hair color. This is like. Identity reorganization. It feels like fog because your [00:07:00] old clarity no longer fits, and almost as if when you are cleaning out your wardrobe.
You have to go through that messy bit. Have you ever seen the reels on social media? I love them. Where it's like seven hours ago I decided to clean out the kitchen cupboards, and then it's a woman sat with like thousands of Tupperwares every play, every dish, every glass. And it's like now I'm regretting my choices.
The, that mess isn't the problem. Like you have to go through that mess as part of the process. Like you wouldn't have been able to clean the kitchen cupboards out if you hadn't. Pulled everything into the mess. So it's part of the process. So I just want you to know that if you suddenly feel confused about everything, usually that's that.
The second one I see is this feeling of, um, numb or flat or [00:08:00] really just like uninterested in things that you used to love. And actually what I see here is your nervous system. Having a little temporary powering down to recalibrate, and it's like that moment where it goes, we need to rest to upgrade. The third thing I see is the emotions are more than usual, crying randomly, maybe snapping at small things.
That's kind of the. Emotional, um, what can we call it? The emotional data, like rising to the surface, clearing a new way for that new identity to land. So you might find that you're more emotional than usual. Number four. Biggest one I see with my clients when we're doing a lot of this work is, ah, your old patterns, they return with a motherfucking force.[00:09:00]
Oh yes they do. Oh yes, they bloody do. And your old patterns return. Um, because your subconscious is craving comfort. It wants that comfort, it wants that duvet wrapped. It wants to be wrapped in that duck filled duvet. It wants the comfort, right? And so your comfort are those old patterns because you have played them for so long, they're so embedded.
They're so thick, they're so strong that it's going to go back to something that feels. Comfortable number five. You want to burn it all down? Maybe I'll pivot. Maybe I'll quit. Maybe I'll go back to nine to five. Often that's not clarity. It's the subconscious trying to like absolutely escape. The expansion.
It's a very, very clever, clever part, very clever part, which kind of ties into the next one, is that you want to disappear. You wanna hide [00:10:00] from stories, you wanna push it to next month. You wanna delay what you are doing, and that's your system regulating, that's your system regulating in that one. And then lastly, you are doubting yourself more than you show up.
Um, like the more that you show up, the more you doubt yourself. And because. The exposure is, feels so real to your subconscious. Um, so none of these, none of these at all mean that you're failing. It usually means you are at the edge, the very edge of your old identity, and your subconscious is asking. Is this really safe?
Like is this really safe to move beyond this? To be beyond this? To step into this. Now, what I wanted to clear up, because a lot of those points, I mean all seven of them could show up as well as. [00:11:00] Sabotage. And I wanted to show you how you can tell the difference between sabotage versus the shift. Because sometimes we need to pause, we need to pivot, we need to change direction, we need to, you know, be more emotional.
But sometimes what we are calling misalignment is just resistance sometimes. So how do you tell. Now for me, sabotage sounds like this isn't working. I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw the towel in. This isn't working. I'm not made out for this. This isn't working. I'm not good enough. There is always a sense of, um, a couple of parts that come up a lot around sabotage, shame, panic, overwhelm, like a lot of those kind of, um.
Heavier feelings like shame or guilt or, [00:12:00] um, yeah, panic comes up and, and that's usually in sabotage, a lot of, um, rushing, a lot of hiding, a lot of absolute inner chaos that spirals into taking no action at all. That's sabotage. Now, a true shift. The shifting in this. I think you can tell that something is shifting and that, well, I think I need to slow down and listen.
It's kind of this slowness with, um, very like grounded awareness of what is happening and there is such a drive for alignment over avoidance. A lot of sabotage falls into avoidance, whereas like this true shift into your next, you know, identity or next level is this like absolute desire to work it out, this desire to [00:13:00] move, this desire to be.
Aligned. And usually what I find is it might be very small. It might be very small, but there is a quiet knowing under the fear, under all of it. So you know, is this discomfort asking me to. Go and hide in my duvet and never do anything again. Or is it asking me to rise the fuck up out of this? And that's where you can really start to anchor in.
Are you sha sa sabotaging? I tried to say shift at the same time. Are you sabotaging or are you shifting? So. Now we kind of understand, and now we've maybe named a few things that you're like, oh God, here we go again. But now you're like, ah, it's actually a sign that I'm upleveling. What can we do to stay anchored in moving into the Uplevel?
And for me, it's always very micro, subconscious actions that are [00:14:00] going to create this compound effect. So the first thing ever. Is to acknowledge and name it. Like say it out loud. Okay. I've had a little think. This isn't sabotage. It's just a bit stretchy. It's just a bit stretchy. Like, let your body know that it's safe.
Let your body know that it's safe to be in this. It's safe to feel this. It's safe to move. Through this. The second thing that I want you to do is actually anchor into one thing in your business or in your life or whatever that is that is working. So not the five step plan, not the huge launch, not the thing that you're trying to achieve that's really gonna step you into this identity.
Just one thing you trust right now, whether that's one client. Whether that's one post, whether [00:15:00] that's one time that you felt really good in doing your stories, one piece of evidence that says, I am already in motion, like I am already going. I. Anchor into that one thing, literally can be one thing that is working.
When we're going through this, we like to anchor into all the things that aren't working. 'cause that's what we like to do as humans. So if we can anchor into one thing that is working, it's truly gonna have such a knock on effect, such a, an incredible effect on your reticular activated system. And your energy, to be honest, because it's gonna really help shift your state.
Like really shift your state into one thing. So one small thing that feels certain right now, like I said, a client win a walk, uh, whatever that [00:16:00] looks like really kind of. Uh, anchor into that. Really, really allow yourself to be in that. Next is really trying to tap into this energy that you are moving into.
So if I trusted. This was working. How would I show up today? How would it look like? What would it look like today? And to be honest, you could do it both ways. If I didn't trust this was working, how would I show up today? And if I did trust this was working, how I would I show up today? It's a very. Very easy exercise, but very potent on what actually comes out from that.
So what would that look like? If I trusted this was working, how would I show up today? And then take the smallest, you know, bit of that action and bridge the gap. Really, really step into that. The next one. A [00:17:00] lot of parts work as we do in the subconscious membership. If you do want to ever dive in to parts work, that is where I definitely would suggest you starting.
But talk to the part that wants to pull you back. Is it overwhelm? Is it fear? Is it control? Is it, you know, what is that part that's pulling you back? What are you protecting me from? What are you here for? What do you need? Really understanding that part so you can have a conversation with them. And a lot of the time, the most amount of wisdom comes from those conversations.
Bloody beautiful, bloody beautiful. Um, and lastly, bring your next level into your environment. So we are very, um, we, we. Work best through visual cues, whether it's notes, um. Like post-it notes, whether it's [00:18:00] written on your mirror, whether it's like a audio track that you have, whether it's a wallpaper on your phone, whether it's alarms that, that are going off, bring your next level into your environment.
Environment is at the bottom. Of what we call the six logical levels in NLP, and actually environment has a big impact on the foundation of your identity. So the more you can bring in things to your identity to help you move into that next level, the the, the more we'll solidify what that looks like. Let your subconscious see.
Who you are becoming. See who you are becoming. And lastly, actually before I finish, is when you are in this, try not to go into fixing mode. This has been so powerful. I've been doing this with a couple of my clients. Try not to fix, try to feel, [00:19:00] because we like go into the rush, especially high achievers.
It's like, oh my God, I've gotta sort this out now. I cannot bear to feel this way. I will do anything. Not to feel this way, but sometimes the bravest thing that you can do is to actually feel it and keep walking anyway. So try not to fix it. Try and feel it, and it will probably move through quicker. So. As we know, growth doesn't always look like the firework display on New Year's Eve.
Sometimes it looks like the fog. Sometimes it looks like the fear. Sometimes it looks like fumbling your way fricking forward, but just because it doesn't look like success externally doesn't mean it's not working. It doesn't mean it's not working. So don't abandon that person that you're stepping into, that version of you that's trying to lead right now.
She's [00:20:00] here, she's in the room. Even if you cannot fully see her yet, give her a fricking chance, please. So if this episode hit somewhere you needed it to make sure you're sharing it on your stories. Make sure you're tagging me. I love to celebrate. You listening, I love to see you listening. See you listening.
Hear you listening. Um, and if you are in this exact season and you do want more support holding you, holding your power, regulating your subconscious, bringing that refinement into your strategy and expanding into that next level version of you. This is the work, the deep rooted work that we do inside my one-to-one mentorship.
So it's not just about the bigger results with me ever, and obviously they are a byproduct, but it's becoming the woman who holds the business and holds your goals and your dreams with the safety, with the certainty, with the sustainability. It's not ever about doing more. It's [00:21:00] about kind of being more you, I would say.
At the end of the day, so I hope this has shone a light into your up level that you're currently going through, and I will see you on the next episode. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode.
Reviewing the podcast, and of course, that Juicy five star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at _rebeccahaydon_ and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to rebeccahaydon.Com.
I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!