The first step to letting go of anything we think is holding us back is acknowledging that we do it.
This acknowledgement doesn’t need to come in the way of labels, of telling yourself you are perfectionist, when we label we take it to our identity. Our identity is very protected and labels are an invitation to buy into an idea about yourself that doesn’t serve you well, therefore making it harder to change.
So if we flip it into a behaviour – we know we can change that. Quickly!
As you acknowledge where that perfectionism is showing up as a behaviour I want you to become aware of situations that bring out your perfectionist most strongly.
2. What is it feeding?
Perfectionism at the moment is serving you, serving some part of you even if it doesn’t serve your higher self – so understanding why you challenge yourself with those EPIC high standards is very helpful.
It could be fears such as:
What if I get it wrong?
It’s got to be perfect or no one will buy?
I will feel more confident when it’s perfect.
So what beliefs do you have that come hand in hand with your perfectionism, identifying these give us the fuel to make the small changes with those habits.
You can choose the beliefs you want to hold, and the ones that no longer serve you.
3. Face the worst case
Perfectionism often shows up because we want to make damn sure that we don’t fail! But coming from a prevention mindset is not good for our creativity and innovative thinking we need.
To get over this, I’ve found it useful to look at the worst case scenario, and how (un)likely it is to occur. And to realise that there’s probably something you can do in that remote situation anyway.
Getting those dark thoughts out in the fresh air takes away their potency.
4. Identify what perfect looks like to you?
I want you to ponder on this question for a moment and we are going to find a middle ground.
What is your definition of perfect?
What is the opposite to that?
What is somewhere in the middle?
If you were to play from somewhere in the middle, how would that feel? How achievable would that be for you?
Would you get more done, launch more, show up more coming from the middle ground rather than looking into the perfect?
So it’s time to start recognising it in your own behaviour, and experiment to find the ways that work best for you to apply it only in those situations when it’s needed. That way, you can make the tendency toward perfect work for you, not against you.
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